Tuesday, December 20, 2011
I have started to write this so many times. It never seems to be good enough. It never seems to say what I want to say in the way that I want to say it. I can't explain it, maybe because of the pain I feel I am unable to express what is in my heart to make it seem real. It isn't real, not really. How can it be?
Last Thursday my husband's family in Mexico was trying to get in touch with him. He was at work but still they tried and tried. They even tried messaging me on Facebook. I called him and he said he kept getting cut off when he answered their calls.
"It's my mother," he said later that night when he came home. "She's dying. They said she hasn't eaten in a week and they are going to do x-rays on her stomach tomorrow."
All day Friday he tried to get more information but couldn't get anything definitive. Early Saturday I was getting ready to take Jacob to his hockey game when my husband came out into the living room. He looked at me and shook his head. Neither of us spoke, I don't think either of us was capable. Hot tears welled up in my eyes and I began sobbing uncontrollably.
This woman was so beautiful. She was generous and she was kind. Her heart and her love knew no bounds. She had 13 children and all of them were so dedicated to her. Each felt special and loved. She told my husband all the time (we didn't speak the same language) that she loved me and that I was beautiful just for the fact that I loved him and loved his two children (that he had before we met). She loved me just for loving those children! She made me feel cherished and I loved her for that. She was a light that can never be replaced and I will spend the rest of my life honoring her memory. Rest in peace Mama Chelo.