No matter how old they get my heart is out there walking around in those two bodies. Sometimes the ache is so bad that I lose my breath. Sometimes only the warmth of my tears can start the healing process until the next ache begins. I never, in a million years, imagined the roller coaster motherhood would be at this point in my life. There are days when I don't know if I'm going to make it through. I have to take a step back, I need to get my heart to accept what my brain is telling me; that I can't save them, I can only love them. Ah, but that heart of mine, does it ever listen? No, it runs out in traffic and plays chicken with everything on wheels.