It is a common story, one that you've heard many, many times. The first time was just to make him feel better after he had gotten a "boo boo." You know, take the edge off. Take his mind off the searing pain associated with a scraped knee. The reaction was incredible, as he relaxed immediately and went into an almost semi-trance.
Then one day, out of the blue for no reason he asked for it again. "But you're not even hurt or in pain." I said. So he made up some phantom pains that he felt "all over." I even thought at the time that it was a little like an addict inventing symptoms so his doctor would re-fill his prescription.
After he saw how gullible I was, he got demanding.
If he doesn't get it, he gets upset. "But mooooommy, I need some now." He'll complain. He has actually sent me out in the middle of the night (in a not so safe neighborhood) in order to replenish his supply. And, I have to admit, I'd probably do it again.
It is a daily thing now. Sometimes it can be two or three times a day. It is out of control. We both ignore the stinging reality that it is a full blown problem. He pretends everything is normal, but I know it's not when I see the remnants of his usage left carelessly on the table or on the floor. Sometimes I even find evidence of his addiction when I'm cleaning his shower. And that is when I lose it, and cry for the little boy my son used to be.
Hubby insists he goes cold turkey and stop his using immediately. But then when he sees the quivering lips and the perceived trickle of tears he knows I don't have the strength to do it. So he pretends too. That everything is okay. He enables my enabling. We are a sick family.
I am faced with the very real possibility that if this doesn't stop before he is 18, that I will have spent nearly the equivalent of a year's college tuition, just so he can have his daily fix.
Tell me what to do internet. Should I take a second job to pay for his supply?