Monday, July 03, 2006

Boys will be boys...

cuz if you have girls, this stuff wouldn't happen.

You know that feeling when you're alone doing someting productive (watching t.v.) and all of the sudden your "mom senses" go off and you stop what you're doing (mute the t.v.) and listen to what your kids are doing? And then you hear that inevitable sound that sends all your "mom alarm bells" ringing? You know the one... muffled giggles (they are up to something) that escalates into (ugh!) laughter (they're getting along and they're up to something) and you realize you'll have to stop what you were doing (wait for a commercial) and go investigate what monsterous things are being done out of your sight.

Well, this is the latest version of what I found when I answered the alarm bell...Picture the scene: the two boys are in the back yard, one with roller blades, both with hockey sticks, playing what seems like a simple, innocent little pick up game of one on one. First of all? Nothing is simple or innocent when it comes to these two playing any game together. Second of all, I just know something is going on, because I feel it down to my bones.

So, I stand by the sliding door and watch them unobserved. I watch them play and they are both, well, there's no easy way to say this, smiling. They are really making me work at this, people. So, I go outside. They both stop, look at eachother, look at me and say in unison (in unison, people!) "Hi Mommy!" And? They were both (you guessed it) smiling! Ugh, happy kids getting along are the worst! They lull you into complacency until you leave them alone just long enough for one of them to end up in the emergency room. Well not today people, not on my watch.

Not detecting anything immediately sinsiter with their activity, I resolve to turn around, go back in the house and plot my next move. However, just as I turn around I spot one of my wine glasses sitting on the outside window sill. WTF?

Me: "Why is this glass out here?"

Woody: "It's the Stanley Cup."

Hmm. That could explain the giggles. They were playing for the Stanley Cup. Then I noticed two unopened soda cans sitting on the kitchen counter.

Me: "Why are these sodas sitting here?"

Buzz: "That's the champagne."

Oh. Of course. For the winner of the Stanley Cup to drink champagne out of the Stanley Cup trophy. Alright, I won't ruin their fun by telling them they can't play for the Stanley Cup. I went back to my room to pick up where I left off in my productivity (turned the sound on the t.v. back up).

A little while later (after my show was over) I came out to get dinner ready. The "Stanley Cup" was now on the kitchen table filled with soda. Woody called Buzz over, "Hey, it's ready. Come drink out of the Stanley Cup!" Buzz came over and held it up and looked at it like he was trying to read something...

Buzz: "Hey! You spelled it wrong!"

Woody: "No I didn't."

Me: "Spelled what wrong? OMG! You wrote on the wine glass? With what!!!?

Them: "It's the. Stanley. Cup. Mommy!"

Woody: "I engraved his name on it, just like the real Stanley Cup!"

Me: "YOU ENGRAVED HIS NAME... WITH WHAT?!!!!

Woody: "With a marker."

Me: "What kind of marker?

Woody: "Don't worry, it comes off... watch (he demonstrates by rubbing some off).

Me: "How did you know it would come off?"

Woody: "I tested it first."

Me: "You tested it with WHAT?

Woody: "I wrote on it and then made sure it rubbed off before I wrote the rest."

Me: "So, you wrote on the glass, with a marker, not sure if it would come off or not. Got lucky that it did. Then proceeded to write your brother's name on it?"

Woody: "Well, he won the Stanley Cup!"

Buzz: "Yeah, I won Mommy!"

THE END WHAT NEXT?

7 comments:

Zephra said...

Hey, at least they didn't break it with the hockey sticks. And just so you know...a girl would do it too only it would be something other than the Stanley cup.

Nicole said...

A story very well told! I was smiling the whole time waiting to see what they did. And, I agree with zephra, a girl can do as much damage. I have writing on the wall to prove it!

Babaloo said...

Yes, I agree. Girls can definitely do equal or greater damage than boys. The "boys will be boys" angle was more for fact that they were playing out a "winning the Stanley Cup" fantasy (with my wine glass).
And, honestly I was relieved they weren't up to something more damaging!

Jodi said...

OHMYWORD. What a funny story, love it. Totally cracks me up. And I know what you mean about waiting to take a trip to the ER. I catch my boys in the middle of something all the time and think okay, start the stop watch we'll be at the ER in less than an hour, I just KNOW it. :)

socialworker/frustrated mom said...

Great story teller you had me in anticipation.

The Great Sparlini said...

Absolutely hilarious! I was raised with 5 brothers and this sort of stuff happened ALL THE TIME! There was nothing ever sacred, or SAFE for that matter, in the house. Now, I am just happy to know that the smiles on their faces wasn't because they had real champagne!

Crazy MomCat said...

This was hilarious and I DEFINITELY could relate having a 6-year-old son myself. Glad I stopped by tonight!