Monday, July 17, 2006

Name Your Personalities

A.K.A. More information about me that you needed to know...

I seriously wish I came up with this idea without any help, but, alas I didn’t. I was reading this post by Crazy Momcat in which she was expressing pros and cons of a decision she was trying to make. In the post she (very hysterically I might add) named some of her other personas and wondered what they might think of her decision. Anyway, I decided to take it one step further and make a whole post about my other personalities. So, thank you Crazy Momcat for the idea and without further ado, please step into my brain and take a seat (please don't feed the personalities while you are here-thank you).

Ethyl – has an innate need to explain and justify everything. She divulges way too much information. She wrote the introduction to this post.

Mean Mommy – She’s a dictator, she’s the queen, she is the one everyone (in the household) bows too. She is not well-liked but she is well-respected. When reasoning, bribery and begging don’t work, she’s the one to call.

Joe - the sports fan. He schedules everything around the San Jose Sharks during hockey season. Game intermissions are for dinner time, shower time and light chores if they allow checking the t.v. every two minutes so as not to miss the face off. He invented the phrase "no interruptions when the game is on." He will fold the laundry during a game, but will stop if the team is losing and go sit in his “lucky spot” on the couch. He filled out all the brackets for the 2006 World Cup, just for fun. He also spent way to much money on Stanley Cup playoff tickets and blogged about how great the games were. He is resting until September when pre-season starts and is also waiting for the 49ers and Raiders to be good again.

Annie- the organizer. She plans, she writes lists, she makes schedules, she schedules time to write lists, she cleans out closets, organizes the garage and keeps the family budget. She makes medical appointments, rsvp’s to party invitations, does all the Christmas shopping, birthday shopping, school shopping. She knows when it’s garbage day and when the mortgage is due. The other personalities are all out to get her. She knows this. She treads carefully and isn’t over demanding. Don’t change plans on her at the last minute, though, cuz she'll totally freak out.

Dr. Laura – not to be confused with the radio host. She is the in-house shrink who thinks she knows everything. She likes to sneak out and give advice to other people. If you have ever gotten an “advice” comment from me before on your blog, she most likely wrote it. She doesn’t do much in the way of helping around here, though. Why fix us when she can fix others?

Patty – the procrastinator. She undermines all organizational effort by Annie. She is weak to temptation and thinks Ben and Jerry only exist for her. She is very good at making lists of what she should be doing, just before doing the exact opposite. Her goal is to become a professional “extreme couch potato” and be sponsored by Frito Lay and Diet Coke. The kids love her because she is the one who takes them to McDonalds or orders pizza instead of cooking them dinner. She has also been known to forget about signing field trip permission slips, that it was our turn to bring snacks for the soccer team or to put the "tooth fairy" money under the pillow. She thinks things will work themselves out eventually if she ignores them long enough.

Mother Earth – She’s all “peace & love,” and wonders why we can’t all get a long. Life is beautiful to her. Her kids are perfect, her husband is perfect and her dog is perfect. They are all loving examples to the world of what life can be if we just relaxed and let things be as nature intended. She is usually only allowed out during solitude, moments of reflection or on long solitary bike rides in the hills (where the air is thin and has less oxygen). She is often jolted by reality and goes into hiding.

Maeve – the martyr. She does everything around the house with little or no recognition. She offers to do things even if she doesn’t have the time or the energy, just because she assumes knows no one else will. She suffers alone with her martyrdom. Her menstrual cramps are worse than anyone else, her headaches are worse than anyone else and her problems are worse than everyone as well. Her children are ill-behaved, her husband doesn’t pay attention to her and her parents never understood her. Nothing could ever get done without her. She is the poster-child for “woe is me.”

Stan – the clown. He tries to make everyone laugh and sees humor in everything. He has a big heart and always means well. Sometimes the other personalities use him to serve their own purposes.

Gwen – the worrier. She worries about every decision, every action and every opinion that others have of her. She worries about her appearance, misspelling words and what the neighbors think. She is both weak and strong. She worries that her voice is never heard but also that it is.

Cassandra – the dreamer. She has a rich fantasy life. She dreams of long, white beaches and of dipping her toes in warm, blue tropical waters. She dreams of owning a big house in the hills, with perfect landscaping, gardens and endless rooms that clean themselves. She dreams of running marathons, sleeping all day and having absolutely no responsibilities. She has a perfect body, perfect smile and has the right answer to every question. Her current fantasy is to run off with hubby and spend a lazy weekend wine tasting and sleeping in a quaint Bed & Breakfast.

Garth -the warrior. He is great in a crisis because he keeps a really level head. He is, however, prone to wallowing in denial after the crisis has passed. He has a hard time letting go and not being needed.

There are few others that don't have names. For example I have both a pessimistic and an optimistic personality, but they pretty much cancel each other out. I also have an addictive personality still loose in there somewhere. She apparently came with the genes and refuses to leave. She's not as prevalant as she once was, but I'm sure she'll always be around, just in case. So, I guess that pretty much does it. You can exit out of my brain the same way you came in. Please don't try and entice any of the personalities to come with you. Somehow we all co-exist and make it work. I hope you enjoyed your visit!

Oh, and? BTW, We I have not been clinically diagnosed, yet. We I know what you were thinking. We're all I'm going out for an adult beverage now if you would like to join us me. Cheers!


Zephra said...

Love the post. One of your most entertaining and thoughtful.

socialworker/frustrated mom said...

Very interesting I love analyzing hence swfm.

Crazy MomCat said...

Hilarious! You did a much better analysis of your little "friends" than I did too. I think a few of those may have dropped by my house from time to time as well. Thanks for the laugh and the linkage!

Babaloo said...

z- thank you! it was fun to write

sw/fm- thanks - btw, haven't been able to see your sight all day. it comes up but is all blank...?

cm-my inspiration! glad you read it(and liked it too)

Bonnie B said...

I thoughtI was the only one who heard voices.

Nicole said...

Great post! Very insightful. I think I have a Maeve and she's working overtime today!

Jennifer said...

That's brilliant. I think one or five of your "selves" are related to one or six of mine.