Tuesday, November 01, 2011

A Day in the Life of My Pet - Writer's Workshop

Mama’s Losin’ It

 From the writing prompts, I present:

5.) A day in the life of my pet...how bad does he have it?

This is me, Nico. I don't like to take pictures. The following  is a typical day in my life:

Oh my God, it's 4:30am. Why does this man have to get up so early? Let me burrow deeper into my blanket so the light doesn't bother me.

An hour and a half later...

I smell coffee. *sniff* That weird machine-thing goes on by itself every morning....which means, My mom should be coming out soon! Yippee! I can't wait!. Here she comes. Here she comes, I can hear her waking up Alex, here she comes, here she comes here she...where did she go?

25 minutes later... 

There she is, there she is, there she is!. She's opening the door to my kennel, yes! Aaahhh, looooong stretch (It's kind of cramped in there), Oooh, now the other leg.Streeeeeeeeeeeeeetch. Can you open that sliding door, please? I have to pee. Thank you thank you thank you...

What's that smell? It's kind of cold out here. Hmm... Something has been over here near the garbage can. Hey, that garbage smells kind of good. What just jumped over the fence? Is that a siren?

"Bark, bark-bark-bark-bark, bark."

Time to go back inside. Score! Mom is putting out the food. A peperoni stick, broken in half, just the way I like it. My moist & meaty and two milk bones... Oh and fresh water. I'll drink that later. Oh, there she is! The most wonderful, perfect human that ever walked this earth! Hi Mommy! I must feel you scratch my ears the way that no one else can.... yes, yes, yes, a little to the left, yes, yes, yes, the other side, oh right there. Best. Mommy. Ever.

Ugh. There is that gate thing again blocking my way into the living room It's not fair you know. I used to be able to go wherever I wanted. Now? When no one is home I have to stay in the kitchen. It is so BORING in here. Ever since they got that new furniture I've been stuck here. No one asked me if I wanted new furniture. I thought the old stuff was fine. They said it smelled bad, especially MY couch where I used to sleep all the time. I liked that the stuffing was coming out of the hole that I made in the cushion. Look, It's not my fault that I may have barfed there a couple of times and didn't tell anyone. They eventually figured it out. And? I only peed by the T.V.  a couple of times. It's my nature... I have to mark what's mine. Especially when I'm mad at someone for not taking me on a walk. It's not my fault they don't like the smell. Humans and their delicate sensibilities. Sheesh.

Mom just left to drive Alex to the bus stop. Well, now what do I do? I guess I'll plop on the blanket. She'll be back in a few minutes.

10 minutes later...

There she is again, mommy! mommy! and... she's gone. Oh wait! She's waking up Jacob! I wonder what he's having for breakfast? I hope it's one of those breakfast burritos again. How awesome was that last week when he dropped half of it on the ground? Yum! Here he comes. He's putting something in the microwave, what, hey! Watch it! You almost stepped on me! I just want to see what you're doing... What? Don't yell at me. You watch where YOU"RE going! So, what is it? what is it? what is it? what is it? Are you going to share? Can I have some? can I have some? can I have some? can I... Yes! Thank you thank you thank you.... is there more? is there more? is there more?

30 minutes later...

"Bark!" Doorbell! "Bark!" Doorbell!

Hey! Someone is at the door! Are you gonna get that?  Hello? I can't go over there because I'm sequestered over here in the kitchen! Hello?
It's Raul (Jacob's friend)! Hi Raul! Come over and say hi. Please? please? please?

What? Where are you going? Wow, that was fast. You guys are leaving me already? What am I going to do all day? Well, alright.  Bye... have a good....(door closes) day. *sigh*

7 hours later...

Oh man, what's that noise? Is it... It is, it is! Jacob's home from school! Wow where did the day go? I was in such a deep sleep for most of it. I don't remember anything after dozing in the morning sun. How did I get back on my blanket? Oh well, never mind. Jacob's home and he's going to open the gate. Happy dance, happy dance happy dance... I'm so happy to have company again... I love my Jakey poo! Oh, yes. I do need to go outside. Nice! Thank you Jacob!

1 hour later...

Alex and Dad are home! More company! I'm going to go hang out with Alex in his room. I hope he brings chips.

1 hour later...

It's almost time. She's almost home. I can sense it. My heart is beating so fast... I can't wait to see her. Is that her car? It is, it is, it is... I know it, I know it. SHE's HOME! MOMMY! I love you, I love you,  I love you, I love you! Aahh, that feels so good, yes, now scratch my neck, now my ear again.... I've been waiting for that all day! Can we go out? I know I'm not allowed in your room, but I'm following you down the hall anyway to remind you that I need to go out on a walk. Are you gonna... can we...(door closes in my face). Okay. I'll just wait here. Take your time! *sigh*

I hope she's changing her clothes. If she puts on her sneakers that TOTALLY means we are going on a walk. Here she comes! Omg! Omg! Omg! let me spin around to show my joy! Spin! Spin! Is she going to grab the leash.... YES! I AM THE HAPPIEST DOG E-VER! LET'S GO, LET'S GO, LET'S GO!

I love being outside! Oh, I remember this bush right here... oh, uh huh, this mailbox smells the same, good.  la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la. I'm so happy, I'm so happy. Smell that fresh air. Excuse me a minute while I do some business, right over here. Oh, yeah, that's the spot. I wish I could whistle. I feel like whistling right now. Why yes, I am prancing. I didn't know there was a name for it, but I like it. Pant, pant, pant, pant... I love you but you walk way to slow. Who's that over there? Can we go meet him? Why is he barking at me? What did I do? C'mon, just for a second... I want to smell his... what? why? I never get to do anything fun.

Okay, back home. Dinner time! I'll just sit right here, very patiently, next to my food dish until my mom realizes it's time to unlock the deliciousness that is my Caesar's dinner. I really hope it is fillet mignon. Or? Maybe chicken. Haven't had that in a while. Dupety-doo, dumpty- dum. If I had fingers I think I'd be twiddling them right now. Why yes, I do want to eat! Thank you much for asking! You are so amazing. It's like you read my mind.! Yum, yum, gulp, gulp. aaahhh! That was good!

I Wonder what they are eating for dinner?

2 hours later...

Oh man, that smells so good. What are they making? Can I have some? Can I? What's that? Did something drop? Oh, gross. *sniff sniff* That's an onion. Disgusting. What? Dinner time. Let's eat! Let me just take my spot over here under the table so I can observe everyone. Let's see, who is going to drop something first? Ouch! Hey watch it, that was my nose! Don't act like you didn't know I was here. I'm ALWAYS here. Where else would I be during DINNER TIME?  Waiting, waiting... yes, there it is. The hand of the most awesome-est lady around, and what does she have? Meat? For me? Oh, I am humbled by your kindness. Yes, I will accept your kind offer and gulp it down without chewing. Yum!

1 hour later...

Well, it looks like everyone is kind of settling in for the night. I'll hang out here on the floor by the couch and hope for some attention. It's not like I'm allowed up on the couch anymore and can fall asleep on next to someone's leg. Why don't they feel sorry for me? It is so unfair! Oh wow, is that Jacob fresh out of the shower? Omg, he smells so good after the shower... I must nip at his toes and spin around in excitement. Wait, what are you doing? Ugh. You know I don't like it when you pick me up.

"Grrrr..." Put me down. I said, "GRRRRRRRR."

Okay, that's better. Well, it is getting kind of late. I'm not feeling very social anymore so I think I'll go into my kennel and go to sleep. *yawn* Let me just arrange these blankets the way I like them, okay, just like that. Goodnight.

1 hour later...

What is that? Oh, you're putting the door on the kennel. You had to wake me for that? Jeez, a guy pees under the table a few times and you have to put him in jail for the entire night?


Whatever, leave me alone. I'm sleeping.


spanish4kiddos said...

What a great post and so true. I'm pretty sure that's what dogs think about food and humans. Just kidding but awesome post :)

beth said...

He certainly thinks very highly of his momma! At least someone does, right? ;) Nico looks the spitting image of our friend's dog, Ringo. Only different colorings. Their names are almost the same...separated at birth???

Nicole [The Lovely Poppy] said...

love this and so true! stopping by from the lovely poppy- i'd love for you to visit and check out the huge ($100) giveaway ending soon! http://thelovelypoppy.blogspot.com/2011/10/blog-follower-giveaway.html

The Preppy Girl in Pink said...

This is hysterical. I was even reading it in my head in a hurried little dog voice (yes, I have one of those!)Great read before hitting the hay. Oh wait, I better let my dog out one last time...

SUPAHMAMA! said...

Love the "furniture" story!!! We don't dare get new furniture FOR that reason alone! Fabulous post. :)

Mama Kat said...

Awww! What a cutie! His life sounds strikingly similar to my dogs. :)

Arnebya said...

He has an extremely full day!

Jackie said...

"if I had fingers I'd be twiddling them right now!" HAH! Perfect!

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