And? The comments! Are you ready for the down-low (low down?) on those? I'll post some highlights (in green). I swear to G-d, I am not making these up...
"thank you for your honesty... this is the best post i've seen on [abc blog] yet."
"Just remember not to over romanticize all of those 'missed moments'... "
"I am certain that this was a horribly upsetting weekend, discovery and decision to make.... I really feel for you... deeply. Please let me know if you simply need someone to go for a walk, have a glass of wine.. or just sit on the couch with you. "
"do remember, however justified, your kids will be losing a third parent. It is a huge loss, the biggest loss they will have had to handle in life up to this point, and you can expect them to go through some real grieving."
There was one rational one...it was my favorite: (no, it wasn't from me)
"umm... you want to spend time with your kids, so why don't you? fire the nanny and spend time with them! You said that you're a stay at home mom, what are you really that busy doing that you can't spend time with them if you have a nanny who watches them and cleans for you? Why not hire a maid to do the cleaning, and you do the minding? four kids in four schools does not require a nanny or a driver, many families have the same situation yet somehow manage to survive. you could drive them in the morning - pile them all in the car and then drop them off in the order that their schools start. Or, amazingly enough, you could do what most people do and have them ride the school bus. "
OMG! Then? All these other commenters rush to her defense. It was hysterical:
"I just wanted to respond to [Commenter]'s last comment. Here in northern california, and more specifically Palo Alto, we do NOT have school busses. Additionally, almost each school starts at the same exact time. That means four kids, four drop-offs, same time = impossible...I know I am rambling, but I was slightly annoyed when I saw the comment above. [blogger] shared her experience and her now quandry. That was it....."
(me again) Do you not understand what a privelege it is to live in this area. It is not hard. OMG, no school busses? How do you survive? All the schools do not start at the same time, for exactly this reason. Do you want to complain about the weather too? OMG it was in the 90's last week. I almost melted. Sheesh.
"A few comments. First off, [Commenter], the silicon valley is a hard place to live (waaaah, waaaah, cry, cry, tear, tear...). I know that [Blogger]'s local public school is full, and that a second daughter got into a second (public) school only by winning a lottery. IMHO someone could make a lot of money starting a driver service! (And [Blogger] is a very good mom.)"
There was also a comment that recommended some reading on how to relate and communicate with people from lower class/foreign backgrounds. That was the one that did it for me. I wanted to throw something.
I guess what really got to me after reading these blogs (and comments) was how embarrassed and out of place I felt. These attitudes, where do they come from? I don't harbor resentment for anyone with a nanny. But these attitudes are off to me. And? Why all of the sudden is it a crisis to have 4 kids in 4 different schools. Hello? Here are a few solutions off the top of my head.
1. Carpool
2. Drop the older kids at their schools early, then take the younger ones.
3. Carpool
4. Have hubby help
5. Carpool
6. Hire a car service
7. Carpool
Whatever. I'm done. I won't even talk about the post where the "mom" sends her 4 year-old to a day camp run by the Parks & Recreation Department (as in not a licensed daycare). She doesn't take her there herself, but instead sends her with another mom (who also has a 4 year-old) who drops them off, leaves, comes back later and is all up in arms about the way the "teenage counselors" (as in not licensed daycare providers) treated the two four year-olds who apparently didn't warm up to the group and the activities and basically sat under a tree for the entire 3 hours.
I'm guessing (hoping) I won't be asked to contribute to their blog. Anyone want to start a mocking blog?
