Men I Love...Who Aren't My Husband

There are a couple of men out there that I just have express my love for. Now, hubby, if you are reading this, I don't mean love in that way (these disclaimers could all but cease if you would just admit that you a) found my blog and b) read it once in awhile. Then I wouldn't have to waste time with all these annoying sidebar explanations) because I don't love anyone else in that way except you. ((Sigh)) Where was I? Oh, other men. Umm, that didn't come out right, did it?

Okay the first man that I want to express my love for (other than hubby, whom I love the most!) is named Felipe. I have seen Felipe around many times. He is a bagger at my local grocery store (I won't say which one just in case hubby takes this the wrong way and goes looking for him). He has never really caught my attention before. That is, until today. Today, this morning actually, he saved my life. Okay, maybe that is a bit melodramatic. More like he saved my ass. Just, so we're clear (hubby in case, today, you choose to read) there was no "touching" of the ass, just the "saving" of it. He saved me over $200 in cash, unlimited amounts of anguish, aggrivation and quite possibly my job. Oh, and a really cute pair of sunglasses and my cell phone too. Yes, after stopping at Albertson's the grocery store this morning to pick up donuts and bagels for the office staff I, in all my radiant brilliance, left my purse in the grocery cart. In the middle of the fucking parking lot. UGGGHHH!!! Not only that, drove all the way to work (20-25 minutes) before I realized I didn't have it. I know, I know, but please don't bask in the glory, that is my stupidity. Anyway, I raced drove back to the store. I went in and someone had found it in the parking lot and turned it in. That someone was Felipe the bagger! He saw it sitting there and selflessly picked it up and, without opening it and going through my stuff, turned it in to his manager! There are still honest people out there. I'm sure after I gushed and swooned over Felipe with my undying love gratitude he probably thought I wanted to marry him. But? I was so ecstatic, I just couldn't help myself. I best go shopping somewhere else this week, however, you know, in case it may be awkward for him to see me again (there was a lot of gushing and I think I picked up a hint of fear in his eyes).

The other man I love, that isn't my husband, is my boss (hubby, if you're still reading... ah, forget it). My manager, actually. He went on vacation last week and won't be back until next week. Nearly two weeks without him. Ordinarily this would be ideal, right? The boss gone for two weeks, who hoo! But, no not in this case. Why? Because he takes all the heat from the big boss. The boss who used to make my life hell and make me pull my hair out in frustration. What with him constantly popping into my office, asking questions and feeding his micro-management addiction. His repetitive requests for spreadsheets and eye-brow raising explanations. Requesting inordinate numbers of phone calls, followed by follow-up phone calls. Asking me to order something (but first getting 10 different price quotes) and then turn around and ask, why did I order that? (um, you told me to?) Confirming that, yes, that was his signature on the purchase order. Asking me to explain why our customer hasn't paid their invoice, didn't I send it to them? (ugh. of course I sent it, that is what you pay me to do...) Asking where different people were (hiding from him, I'm sure). "I don't know why they are not at their desk. Yes, they were here today. Yes I have seen them. No, I don't know where they are now." I could (actually still can) hear when he was coming. You know how houses have their creaks and noises. So does my office suite. I can tell when someone is coming towards my office and can distinguish almost everyone's walk. His is very fast and urgent. Like he is in a hurry. I always have enough time to roll my eyes and grimace before he enters my office, you know, brace myself for the impending craziness. Anyway,When he hired "Scott" all that transferred to him and my love for him was born. I was free! I began to like my job again. However, inevitably, "Scott" takes a vacation every now and then and all the spreadsheet producing, assistant micro-managing, employee locating duties fall back to me. Let me leave you with a visual:

Average visits to my office from big boss per day when "Scott" is not on vacation and in his office: 2

Number of visits, so far, today: 21. (it's not even lunch time) Please pass the Excedrin. **Groan*** here he comes again...22.

I don't care if it is inappropriate, I'm sending him a "welcome back" bouquet.