2. A couple of weeks ago I was walking outside my office building with some of my work friends on our daily walk. A prison bus (carrying inmates to the courthouse) drove by us and they (my co-workers) started making comments and laughing. I immediately felt tears stinging my eyes and I sucked in my breath so hard that I almost choked. I walked ahead for a few seconds to not draw attention to myself.
3. On point with me wanting to peel back layers in search of the authentic me... I am going to let my guard down and let myself look forward to a day trip to Monterey with my husband on Sunday. It was his idea and I was resistant because he says things like that (let's do "x" this weekend) and it never happens for whatever reason. Sometimes it is his fault, sometimes it's mine and sometimes it is just by circumstance. But, I need to get out of the house and away from curling up under a blanket all day hiding from my life, my feelings and the outside world. If it doesn't work out, if he changes his mind, then I will go somewhere by myself. Even if it is to a nearby park for a small hike or to the movies.
4. Christmas shopping should be easy this year. I will be ordering Giants World Series gear and making a trip to the 49ers store at the stadium with Juan's Centerplate employee discount for the bulk of it. Hmmm...
5. I am still debating whether or not to go to the 49ers Thanksgiving game or stay home and have Thanksgiving dinner with only my brother and Jacob. Sergio and Tiffany will be with her family, Juan will be working at the game and Alex, well, Alex won't be with us. We could get tickets, have a modified Thanksgiving feast early and then get to the stadium by 2:30-3:00pm. Decisions, decisions. I need to talk to my brother.
6. Ok, so my latest strategy to help me get back on track is to do the following everyday (weekday): Daily chores (walking the dogs, make dinner, dishes, etc.), one weekly chore (clean the bathroom, dusting, laundry, etc.) and work on one project (organizing a closet, cleaning out garage or boom boom room) even if it is only for 10-15 minutes. The weekly chores can be split up, too. Like, Tuesday I cleaned my bathroom sink, counter and mirror. Yesterday I cleaned out the tub. This morning I cleaned the shower doors and outside the tub. To me, it just makes it all less imposing. The thought of spending all day Saturday just cleaning the house is depressing. Which is why it probably doesn't get done. I get depressed and watch movies all day instead.
7. Based on the above I feel the need to issue the following disclaimer: "I'm sorry people, but you all can't lead an exciting and glamorous lifestyle like mine. I was chosen by a supreme being to live the way I do. It is nothing to be jealous or envious of. Just accept that my life is out of your reach and you will sleep easier at night."
Sincerely yours,
~Babaloo
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