12am Pity Party

You know you're a loser when...

you are 45 years old and eat cherry pop tarts for breakfast.

you eat Ben and Jerry's Phish Food for dinner and watch 3 movies in your room on Saturday night.

you go to bed without washing your face or brushing your teeth.

you wake up and try to bargain with God to just let you sleep some more so you won't have to deal with your life.

you know your kids are going to end up in jail and you don't do anything about it.

you trade one addiction for another.

when you can't find one appealing place in your head to let your mind wander.

when you have everything but feel nothing.

when you seriously consider smoking the weed that you confiscated from your teenager.

when life has passed you by and you've got nothing to show for it except a run down house and bad credit.

your teenagers tune you out, but react to every little thing that they say to eachother.

when you wake up in the morning and recite "you know you're a loser when" thoughts in your head.

you are in a dark, dark place and can't find your way out.

you buy healthy food at the store then go pig out on junk food.

you could keep coming up with these things all night.