Monday, October 10, 2011

Dream Crusher

I have always encouraged my kids to follow their dreams. I tell them they can be whatever they want to be. Professional athlete? Yes, of course! A Police officer? Sure, why not? Video game designer? Absolutely.
Apparently I have been slacking in my enouragment and support lately. Why? Because, let's be honest. I know these kids better than anyone and there are just some things they will never be cut out for.
I didn't really think I was invoking permanent damage or lowering their self esteem by pointing out the obvious, but maybe I was.

"Thanks Mother, for crushing my dream."  My 13 year-old recently told me. Oh, lord help me.

"I'm just being honest," I said. "I'm just trying to save you time and heartache when it doesn't work out,"

"You are so mean." he said (he was a pre pubescent drama queen in his former life).

His dream that he shared with me?

To be an ice cream taster.

The boy has never tried any flavor in all his 13+ years, except vanilla. How can he possibly be an ice cream taster if he won't try any flavor other than vanilla? That's all I told him. He had to know the truth before becoming invested.

His other idea on a completely separate date and time was to be a food critic. Um? He is the pickiest eater E-V-E-R. He has never eaten a vegetable willingly or without being bribed with the promise some sugary treat in his immediate future. "How can you possibly be a food critic?" I told him. "What if you have to eat vegetables? How can you critique them fairly and without bias?" I asked him.

"Thanks for killing another dream, mother." He responded.

Other dreams I have crushed include but are not limited to the following:

Janitor - Neither kid can pick up after themselves or keep their room clean for longer than 10 minutes. Also, I don't know why either of them thought this would be an "easy job." I offered both of them the opportunity once to follow me around for a day and help me clean the toilets and showers... they both politely declined.

Singer - That one is my fault. Genetics. I could spend $1,000,000 on voice lessons for them and it would never help. Not that either has ever shown the desire, interest or passion. It only came up when we were watching American Idol auditions and they thought they could do better. Still, I crushed that "dream" too.

Dog Walker - They'd have to pick up the poop. "Ew," I think was the response.

Another crushed dream
To have a port-a-potty in the back yard. Don't ask me why this was ever a "dream," but when I said "no," my reputation as a "dream crusher" was sealed.

I kind of feel bad about it. I've promised myself to be more encouraging in the future. I mean, if they want to have a port-a-potty in their back yard someday, you know, at their own house? Well...I  totally support that.

Let their future wives' be the dream crushers. I'll just be the crazy, old MIL that encouraged their husbands' dreams... but not crazy enough to use their backyard port-a-potty (unless it is an extreme emergency, of course).

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