Monday, August 14, 2006

He's Back...

...well, almost anyway. Woody comes home tonight from his week long visit with my aunt and uncle in Oregon. Right now they are probably loading up the car and closing up the beach house in Manzanita. Then they will head back to Hillsboro (suburb of Portland) and get him ready for his 6:15 flight. It has been sooooooooooooo quiet! I've had a lot of one on one time with Buzz which has been great. He is becoming very independent and I am amazed at how he seemingly entertained himself for the entire week. The last two nights he has gotten on the San Jose Sharks' website and played highlights from last season. He turned up the volume really loud and ran around the house celebrating each goal. Oh, and bless his little heart for him asking me my opinion on where he should have his birthday party.
"Mommy, where do you think I should have my birthday. At really expensive place A? Or less expensive place B?" Hmm. Let me think about it honey (gah!).

The funniest thing about Woody being gone was the dog sneaking into my room to sleep with us. Normally he sleeps either under Woody's bed or in Woody's bed with him. Buzz, who has the top bunk and doesn't like to sleep alone, set up camp on our floor, which left the dog to sleep on his own. Hubby is normally able to keep the dog in check. He knows he is not allowed in our bedroom, especially if hubby is home. However, Nico, who has a healthy fear of hubby, would not be deterred and was very persistant in not giving up. Hubby kicked him out several times each night but every morning there he was, fast asleep on Buzz's blanket. Apparently, like Buzz, he doesn't like to sleep alone.

Although I enjoyed my time with Buzz, valued the break from being "mediator extraordinaire" and relished a week off from the heavy commute to soccer practice I really ran in to a major road block mentally. I'm really bad with facing and accepting change. On those quiet evenings while Buzz was entertaining himself and hubby was out, the winds of change were whispering to me and I tried so hard to shut them out. I didn't want to hear it, I certainly didn't want to think about it and I most definitely didn't want to accept it. So, a couple dozen chocolate chip cookies, half a box of fudgecicles and all my emergency chocolate later, I had the largest sugar induced headache known to man. And through my self-induced pain I still denied the truth. Saturday and Sunday I nursed a bottle of chardonnay for what was by then a blatant attempt to stuff down any thoughts of change and simply float the weekend away.

This morning I woke up not only to the fact that Monday mornings are a bitch in more ways than one, but to the reality that changes are coming at me, whether I see them, want them or accept them. They aren't so much tough changes as they are"part of life" changes, but the volume of them is what has got me overwhelmed. They run from the mundane (getting the kids ready for school) to the worrisome. From upcoming family obligations to upcoming constant demands on my time and a miriad of other little things sprinkled in between. Nothing earth shattering but enough to get me rattled and enough to shake my calm. Nothing like waking up in the morning and getting slapped in the face.

Mondays are funny like that.


Andrew said...

When the cat's away, the mice will ... I mean, the dog will sneak into the room to sleep. I can almost picture the sheepish body language as the dog slinks in, hoping not to be banished. Great image!

To Love, Honor and Dismay

kim said...

i love being able to spend time one on one with the kids rarely happens though :(
change is hard for me too , im a control freak and i like everything the way i like it , nice and stable and predictable .... i never win though so im working on being adaptable :)

Jen said...

Monday's stink...that's all there is to it!!

I hope your little man made it home okay!

Jennifer said...

the winds of change were whispering to me...

This is so weird. I swear I wrote my post before reading yours.

Great minds, and alla that?

socialworker/frustrated mom said...

I know change is hard, it's life long struggle.

Bonnie B said...

ANd this is why I don't have a dog-- smelly, slobbery, jump on the bed creatures. No I have a cat that makes muffins, yowls all night and scratches on the window panes (screeeeech).

I'm glad he's coming home to you because had I been here reading this a few days agao-- I woul dhave bene toasting you with chocolate and chardonnay and then-- I'd have to lay down on my bed and pile books onto my stomach so I could zip up my jeans-- and just who is going to wheel me around on a dolly?