Thursday, August 24, 2006

Thursday Blurbs

1. A warning to all moms: please don't let your babies grow up to tell their own birth stories to people you know (but not that well) and who are a captive audience because you are giving them a ride home in your car. I'm just saying ladies, it's um, a bit awkward.

2. But not as awkward as when they tell the birth story incorrectly and confuse it with their sibling's birth story and you feel compelled to set the record strait and tell the correct birth story not really taking note of the confused and "why the hell are you telling me this?" look on the person's face, because of course you are driving and not looking at their expression...but once you realize the "ickiness" of what you are saying and how it must sound you decide since you've almost finished the story it might be too weird at that point to just stop... so you finish telling it...albeit very lamely.

3. Does anyone's dog howl at police/ambulance sirens? If they do, are they in a semi-trance when they do it?

4. To the parents of the kids that were playing soccer against my son's team last weekend for the tournament championship and called our boys a "junk team," you might want exercise a little restraint with your comments or at least use some volume control on the sidelines. You are there to cheer and support your kids not berate their opponent.

5. A special note to the mother that yelled "FUCKING JUNK" at the top of her lungs after one of our boys committed a foul on the field, ummm... just be grateful that when you went to use the portable potty after the game was over that it didn't get tipped over. I'm just saying.

6. Maybe it was just me because I was tired when I saw it, but that movie Monster House really bothered me. The premise was really dark and bizarre and I just didn't like it. I think it must have been written strait out of someone's real life reacurring nightmare. It made no sense otherwise.

7. We're going to see "Invincible" and "How To Eat Fried Worms" tomorrow. Hope those work out better.

8. I wish that before I called the man, told him that my kids found his cell phone at the park and put it out in my mail box for him to come pick up at his convenience... that they told me they had used it to take pictures... (((sigh)))

9. There has been a dilemma brewing for the last six weeks or so and today, suddenly out of nowhere about 10 things fell into place and our path has become clear. It just sucks that someone has to show their true ugliness and selfishness before we are able to make the correct decision.

10. Drove by the kids school earlier today and there is still construction going on with a chain link fence closing off the entire campus. The kids think maybe their summer will be extended a few days until they finish the job. I had to shatter that fantasy mid-smile because I will cut a hole in that chain link fence come Monday morning and bus in my own teachers if I have to. SCHOOL WILL RESUME ON MONDAY MORNING!!!!

11. Buzz got $5 from the tooth fairy (WHAT? Doesn't everyone?). On our way home today the kids asked me if we could go to 7-11. Buzz offered to pay with his $5. I asked if he had brought it with him and he pat his pocket, pulled it out and showed it to me. I parked outside and let the two of them go in by themselves. A few minutes later Buzz came running out and said he left his money in the car. We looked around and didn't find it. I pulled another $5 out of my wallet and sent him back in to pay for their stuff. I have no idea how he lost his money. I asked him later when he was going to pay me back and he said "the next time I get money from the tooth fairy."


Jen said...

That last blurb was soo funny!!! And, I dont think my kids will be getting $5 from the toothfairy..she's cheap in these parts..$1 TOPS!

Crazy MomCat said...

I did the $5 thing for the first tooth and then the tooth fairy got considerably cheaper. HA! Those gold dollar coins you can get at the post office were a big hit though!

Your soccer stories were cracking me up. I think you should do whatever arm weights necessary at the gym this week so that you can tip the port-o-potty on that lady next that. That's just awful of her!

Babaloo said...

jen- yeah, once the bar had been was hard to go lower (((sigh)))

cm- Ha! I won't need to build any muscle because it would have been a group effort between me and the other moms on the team. We will see this same team again this weekend at another tournament, don't think I won't be checking out the port-a-potty situation when we arrive...;-)

Zephra said...

LMAO at #10 and I can't believe that mom. Yes I can I guess, I have heard many a rude/hateful comment on a field where kids are playing. Isn't it amazing how the parents can be over a kids game?

Bonnie B said...

carzy momcat-- our toothfairy is a gold dollar coin kind of girl too!

Babaloo-- that was one funny list. Loved it. I think I'm going to look forward to Thursdays.

Jodi said...

I loved your list too. I am EITHER going to copy your idea and do a list of my own OR do another installment of "as the stomach turns". Whatdathink???

Nicole said...

I haven't made it to the tooth fairy thing yet, but my daughter is already putting in requests. I think she thinks it's like Santa.

I don't have a dog, but my son screeched every time we passed another tram in the Disney parking lot in April. Everyone turned and looked every time!

Wendy said...

You totally should have tipped over the portapotty!

socialworker/frustrated mom said...

Hysterical thanks for the laughs.