(This is really long, if you are going to try and get through it, you might want to schedule in a bathroom break. I took two while I was writing it...)
I was feeling a little melancholy going into Mother’s Day weekend this year. Since becoming a mom, I have always loved Mother’s Day. My kids get very into it and I get lots of “I Love You’s” and unexpected hugs and kisses during the day. This year was no different. Hubby brought flowers Saturday night. Buzz (who wasn’t able to wait until Sunday) gave me his little gift he made in school as I walked in the door on Friday. Woody surprised me Saturday night by making fruit salad! It was all so endearing. Sunday they all gave me cards that they had proudly picked out themselves... it was wonderful. However, I just couldn’t shake the heaviness I was feeling. Sigh. I was PMSing which, for me, just exacerbates any negativity or irrationality I’m feeling anyway. I just wanted to be by myself...but couldn’t (you know?). I also, in the back of my mind, started thinking about my own mom and how this was the second Mother’s Day I would spend without her since she died.
Then, Sunday? Just went completely out of control (well, from my melancholy and PMSing perspective).
Woody had a soccer game (yes, on Mother’s Day). For every mile that we drove to get to the field the temperature seemed to rise incrementally (this is spring people!). It was 95 degrees at 4:30 when we headed for home. On the way home? My car broke down. On the freeway. Twenty miles from home. Sigh. So, I’m sitting there on the freeway, with my kids, on Mother's Day, waiting for a tow truck and they are being so sweet, apologizing to me because I was having a “sucky” Mother’s Day.
We get the car home ($130 towing charge, thank-you-very-much, not). I had the same problem a few weeks ago and it turned out it was the fuse that controls the fuel system. The same fuse blew out again. #91 went to Kragen and bought some fuses for me and replaced the one that was broken. Sidenote: Something (read: expensive) is causing the fuse to blow so I definitely have to have it serviced and get the fuel pump checked out.
About an hour later (after fixing the fuse and getting the car to start) the kids reminded me that we were going to order pizza for dinner (and watch the Sharks’ game) and could I order it now? I went to get my phone out of my purse, and guess what? It wasn’t there. It wasn’t anywhere. Will this day never end? I re-traced my steps and realized I must have left it in the cab of the tow truck. I called the number (on the $130 receipt) of the tow truck company. After I explained what happened, they told me I had to call Triple A to find out who the driver was. Called Triple A, stayed on hold for 20 minutes. Talked to someone who would locate driver and could I hold again? At which point I accidentally hung up the phone. Without giving her my home phone number... Ugh! Called again, waited 20 more minutes to get through to an operator to explain, again, what happened. They promise to contact the tow truck driver, and have the tow truck company call me about my phone. The tow truck company called back an hour later... The driver did not find my phone.
So where the hell is it? Shit like this drives me absolutely crazy. This out-of-control, my-memory-is-playing-tricks-on-me, what-is-going-to-happen-next (?) mentality makes me really think I am losing my mind. I had my phone with me, people, when I called for a tow truck on the freeway!!! We did not get back in the car, we got into the cab of the tow truck. I did not call anyone when we got home, so if it is not in my purse, then, where is it now? Still on the freeway? The kids (trying desperately to salvage this day for me) started calling my cell phone from the house phone while walking around to see if they can hear the ringer. They didn’t find it. Then? (after I gave up on the phone thing) We sat and watched our beloved Sharks lose (fall apart right in front of our eyes) a third strait game. They are all but eliminated from the playoffs. Game 6 is Wednesday in the other team’s arena and it will take a miracle for them to win there and force a game 7. Heartbreaking. I was literally heartbroken. So, I did the only thing left to do. I let myself be overwhelmed. I embraced all the negativity, heaviness, out-of-controlness and frustration I felt and let it take over.
I went in my room and cried. I cried for my mom. I cried for realizing that it was on Mother’s Day two years ago that mom first told me she was sick. She hadn’t been diagnosed with cancer yet, but they knew (she knew) something was terribly wrong. I cried for thinking this was why I had been feeling so down the past few days but wouldn’t allow myself to think about it. I cried for all the little things my family did for me and how I tried to show my appreciation but it just wasn’t enough to bring over the brink I had fallen into that day. I cried for how sweet they had been all weekend and how lucky I was to have them. I cried for feeling out of control. I cried for my stupid phone which was probably on the shoulder of the freeway. I cried for spending $130 on a tow truck when there are much better things I could use that money for. I cried for feeling alone (even though I wanted to be alone).
After completely purging myself into my pillow, I drifted off to a peaceful sleep... until about an hour and a half later when hubby came home. Guess what he had with him? (here is the surprise twist) My f-ing phone! How, you ask? After I had put the kids to bed and before my crying session I called hubby to update him about the car and told him about my phone. I explained the whole thing to him about the tow truck, etc, etc. When he got home he checked out the car and also called my cell phone just to be sure it wasn't in the car. He said he heard it beeping in the back cargo area.
You see, when we waited for the tow we pulled out the fold-up chairs to sit in because it was to hot to sit in the car. Apparently when I put them back in the car I folded the phone up with one of the chairs and only assumed I had put it in my purse... Do I suck or what? Well, at least my recall does.
I guess that is sort of a happy ending right? And I do feel much better today.
Monday, May 15, 2006
Friday, May 12, 2006
Most Quotable Friday
The trouble with most of us is that we would rather be ruined by praise than saved with criticism.
-Anonymous
Life is like riding a bicycle. You don't fall off unless you stop pedaling.
-Anonymous
Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and discover they were the big things.
-Anonymous
Always remember that hindsight is the best insight to foresight.
-Anonymous
True friendship is like sound health; the value of it is seldom known until it is lost.
-Charles Caleb Colton
Of what help is a friend who can only be approached with the right words?
-Elizabeth Bibesco
Thursday, May 11, 2006
Wednesday, May 10, 2006
A Geek Like Me
Have you ever met your geeky twin? You know, that one person that has the same obsession (that you don't necessarily advertise to everyone you meet) as you?
I just met my geeky twin about a month and a half ago. Our sons play soccer together. Her husband is one of the coaches. I knew some of the other moms on the team from previous seasons together and she and her husband are best friends with the other coach and his wife. We never spoke much beyond polite conversation and soccer parent logistics (practice time, game schedule, could I bring snacks on x date, blah blah blah).
However, one day Buzz wore his Sharks' jersey to practice. Her husband, Coach L (CL) excitedly asked him "Hey Buzz do you like the Sharks?" And Buzz, who by the way is an expert in all that is Sharks (more so than me) was all "yeah!" The two of them started bantering about the team and talking about different players, recent plays and games. After that CL and CLW (CL's Wife) told me "Buzz sure knows a lot about the Sharks!" I kind of laughed it off (ha ha) and sheepishly told them how we watch the games on t.v. and went to a few games during the season and that, "ha ha, he is a little bit obsessed with the Sharks..." (yes, putting it all on him and deflecting any focus away from myself)
After that, CLW and I would talk occasionally during practices about the Sharks. She told me about going to games last season and I told her about games we went to. I told her about my husband and how he bartends at the club (bar & club area inside HP Pavillion where the team plays). We shared stories about trying to get playoff tickets and other Sharks' related things. One day we talked during almost the whole practice. It was during that conversation that we started getting to our true geeky cores. It began when she admitted to demanding "no interruptions" from her family when the game is on and that she wants her daughter to marry a Shark player. Then, I shared with her how we yell and scream (and scare the neighbors) when we watch the games on tv. This went on and on. Her confessing something and me matching her confession with one of my own. I think it was when I told her how I started keeping a spreadsheet to monitor how many points the team needed in order to make the playoffs that she said to me "I am so glad I am not the only Sharks Geek around here!"
So, while it took a while to draw each other out, now that we are half way through round 2 of the playoffs we wear our "Sharks Geek" label as a badge of honor. Respect the geekiness! Of course it's true that both of my kids are "Sharks Geeks," especially Buzz. The boy is 7 and reads the sports section the day after every game! Woody, goes online almost everyday to nhl.com or to the Sharks website. They both have Sharks paraphernalia all over their rooms (yes, I helped decorate).
Anyway, I'm just glad there is another busy mom out there who is a geek like me! Who is your geeky twin?
I just met my geeky twin about a month and a half ago. Our sons play soccer together. Her husband is one of the coaches. I knew some of the other moms on the team from previous seasons together and she and her husband are best friends with the other coach and his wife. We never spoke much beyond polite conversation and soccer parent logistics (practice time, game schedule, could I bring snacks on x date, blah blah blah).
However, one day Buzz wore his Sharks' jersey to practice. Her husband, Coach L (CL) excitedly asked him "Hey Buzz do you like the Sharks?" And Buzz, who by the way is an expert in all that is Sharks (more so than me) was all "yeah!" The two of them started bantering about the team and talking about different players, recent plays and games. After that CL and CLW (CL's Wife) told me "Buzz sure knows a lot about the Sharks!" I kind of laughed it off (ha ha) and sheepishly told them how we watch the games on t.v. and went to a few games during the season and that, "ha ha, he is a little bit obsessed with the Sharks..." (yes, putting it all on him and deflecting any focus away from myself)
After that, CLW and I would talk occasionally during practices about the Sharks. She told me about going to games last season and I told her about games we went to. I told her about my husband and how he bartends at the club (bar & club area inside HP Pavillion where the team plays). We shared stories about trying to get playoff tickets and other Sharks' related things. One day we talked during almost the whole practice. It was during that conversation that we started getting to our true geeky cores. It began when she admitted to demanding "no interruptions" from her family when the game is on and that she wants her daughter to marry a Shark player. Then, I shared with her how we yell and scream (and scare the neighbors) when we watch the games on tv. This went on and on. Her confessing something and me matching her confession with one of my own. I think it was when I told her how I started keeping a spreadsheet to monitor how many points the team needed in order to make the playoffs that she said to me "I am so glad I am not the only Sharks Geek around here!"
So, while it took a while to draw each other out, now that we are half way through round 2 of the playoffs we wear our "Sharks Geek" label as a badge of honor. Respect the geekiness! Of course it's true that both of my kids are "Sharks Geeks," especially Buzz. The boy is 7 and reads the sports section the day after every game! Woody, goes online almost everyday to nhl.com or to the Sharks website. They both have Sharks paraphernalia all over their rooms (yes, I helped decorate).
Anyway, I'm just glad there is another busy mom out there who is a geek like me! Who is your geeky twin?
Tuesday, May 09, 2006
Monday, May 08, 2006
Are you kidding me? Another post about hockey?
Yep... we got to go to another Stanley Cup playoff game last night!
Ticketmaster, it seems, releases tickets in waves and if you are lucky enough to log on at the right time you can buy tickets... and for face value! So, the kids and I got to go to our second playoff game... it was even better than the first round! We went early, at the same time as hubby so that we could secure a spot in the "super secret" parking location that he and a few co-workers got hooked up with early in the season. We had a blast. Before the game the kids got their faces painted (I may have gotten a small piece of artwork painted on my face as well...) and then went in to hubby's area where he bought us nachos and sodas. And not the cheap concession's nachos, but the deluxe "club" (read snooty "club level ticket holder only" ) nachos, loaded with chicken, cheese, sour cream, olives, salsa.... yum! The kids went down to the ice level to watch warm-ups and were rewarded for their incessant banging on the glass when none other than Jonathon Cheecho came over and smacked (would have scared the shit out of me, but they loved it) the boards with his stick right where they were standing.
The game was fabulous and so exciting with the huge (and extremely loud) crowd. We screamed, we yelled, we rejoiced in victory! I was still re-living the glorious moments this morning but was soon smacked strait back into the reality, that is my life, by my youngest when he asked me "Remember all that laundry you did Saturday? Well, our basket is full again."
Yes, I know. I'll start it all over again tomorrow. Sigh.
Friday, May 05, 2006
Most Quotable Friday
If you spend your whole life
waiting for the storm, you’ll
never enjoy the sunshine.
- Morris West
If you have the will to win,
you have achieved half your
success; if you don’t, you
have achieved half your failure.
- David V.A. Ambrose
Everything comes to him
who hustles while he waits.
- Thomas A. Edison
Forget mistakes. Forget
failures. Forget everything
except what you’re going to
do now and do it. Today is
your lucky day.
- Will Durant
The really happy man is one
who can enjoy the scenery
on a detour.
Forget mistakes. Forget
failures. Forget everything
except what you’re going to
do now and do it. Today is
your lucky day.
- Will Durant
The really happy man is one
who can enjoy the scenery
on a detour.
- Anonymous
Elbow grease is the best polish.
Elbow grease is the best polish.
- English Proverb
Tomorrow hopes that we
have learned something
from yesterday.
Tomorrow hopes that we
have learned something
from yesterday.
- John Wayne
It is better to be a lion for a
day than a sheep all your life.
It is better to be a lion for a
day than a sheep all your life.
- Elizabeth Kenny
Adversity is another way to
measure the greatness of
individuals. I never had a
crisis that didn't make me
stronger.
Adversity is another way to
measure the greatness of
individuals. I never had a
crisis that didn't make me
stronger.
- Lou Holtz
For peace of mind, resign as
general manager of the
universe.
For peace of mind, resign as
general manager of the
universe.
- Anonymous
I'd rather be a failure at
something I enjoy than a
success at something I
hate.
I'd rather be a failure at
something I enjoy than a
success at something I
hate.
- George Burns
Don't go around saying the
world owes you a living.
The world owes you
nothing. It was here first.
- Mark Twain
Be on the alert to recognize
your prime at whatever time
of your life it may occur.
- Muriel Spark
There came a time when
the risk to remain tight in
the bud was more painful
than the risk it took to blossom.
- Anais Nin
When one teaches, two
learn.
- Robert Half
Someone's opinion of you
does not have to become
your reality.
- Les Brown
Never miss a chance to
keep your mouth shut.
- Robert Newton Peck
Keep a green tree alive in
your heart and a songbird
may come to sing there.
- Chinese Proverb
Have patience with all
things, but first of all with
yourself.
- St. Francis de Sales
Always do right. This will
gratify some people, and
astonish the rest.
- Mark Twain
Right is right, even if
everyone is against it; and
wrong is wrong, even if
everyone is for it.
- William Penn
Don't go around saying the
world owes you a living.
The world owes you
nothing. It was here first.
- Mark Twain
Be on the alert to recognize
your prime at whatever time
of your life it may occur.
- Muriel Spark
There came a time when
the risk to remain tight in
the bud was more painful
than the risk it took to blossom.
- Anais Nin
When one teaches, two
learn.
- Robert Half
Someone's opinion of you
does not have to become
your reality.
- Les Brown
Never miss a chance to
keep your mouth shut.
- Robert Newton Peck
Keep a green tree alive in
your heart and a songbird
may come to sing there.
- Chinese Proverb
Have patience with all
things, but first of all with
yourself.
- St. Francis de Sales
Always do right. This will
gratify some people, and
astonish the rest.
- Mark Twain
Right is right, even if
everyone is against it; and
wrong is wrong, even if
everyone is for it.
- William Penn
Thursday, May 04, 2006
Who needs a shrink?
Yesterday I had both hands full with something I was throwing away (we keep the kitchen garbage outside so the dog doesn't go through it when we are out) and asked Woody to open the sliding glass door for me. He opened it, but not enough for me go out all the way. So I got half-way through and kind of nudged the door open the rest of the way with my booty. The following conversation took place:
Me - (sarcastically as I'm nudging the door) "It's okay, I'll get it the rest of the way!"
Woody - "It's a good thing you have a strong booty!"
Me - (knowing exactly what he said) "What?"
Woody - "Uh... nothing?"
Buzz - "He said you have a big booty!"
Them together: "No I didn't." "Yes you did," "no, I didn't," "yes, you did....."
Me: "Stop talking about my booty!"
Buzz: "Why?"
Me: "Because, I'm your mom and you shouldn't be talking about my booty"
Buzz: (sensing he was in trouble?) "But Mommy, I love your big booty."
Me: "Okay, besides that being inappropriate on about 20 different levels, that comment is just wrong! Now go finish your homework."
Buzz: "But Mommy, don't you like your booty?"
Me: "Who are you, Dr. Phil?"
Buzz: "Who?"
Me: "Never mind. Finish your homework."
Wednesday, May 03, 2006
Honey I Lost the Kid... parts I & II
Okay, so yesterday as I was reading through some archived posts at Sweatpantsmom I came across this post (the first one titled "Mommie Fully Loaded") that talked about how she "lost" her daughter at the movie theater and more than adequately described that panicked-sickening-feeling-in-the-pit-of-your-stomach you get when something like that happens. Hopefully most parents will never have to experience such a scary thing like not knowing where your child is... but it happened to me, twice. Those "Mom of the Year" awards? Not displayed at my house!
The first time was back in 1999. Drama, Buzz, Woody and I had walked to Walgreens which was a few blocks from the apartment building we lived. Buzz was still a baby, so I walked and pushed him in the stroller while Drama and Woody both roller bladed. Woody was almost 4 (he started roller blading - no joke- when he was 19 months old) at the time. When we got in the store I had Drama and Woody take off their skates so they could go inside and not cause a panic amongst the Walgreen's staff. Once inside, Woody (as he was known to do) kept wanting to wander off by himself (probably to find toys or candy). I kept pulling him back or telling Drama to grab him and bring him back to where the baby and I were shopping. After about the 15th time (I think I must have been looking for birthday cards or something) Drama came back and said she couldn't find him. I told her to stay with the baby while I walked up and down the aisles looking for Woody. When I walked up and back twice and couldn't see him, panic set in. OMG, where was my baby? A million things flashed through my head. Did someone come in and grab him, did he go out in the parking lot and get run over, how the hell was I going to tell my husband that I (choke) lost our son... ?I was in full-freak-out-mode. I went up to the front and asked an employee if they had seen him. She said she hadn't, so I screamed to Drama that I was going outside to look for him. I get outside, look wildly around and over in the distance (about 75 yards) sitting on a bench by the movie theater... was Woody holding his roller blades. I didn't know whether to scream or cry. It seemed that he couldn't find me in the store and thought maybe I left so he went outside to look for me and then just decided to sit on the bench and wait for me because he didn't know how to put on his skates by himself. Just re-telling this now gives me chills... Aaaaaaarrhhhgghh!
It was about a year and-a-half, maybe two years later I would live the sequel "Honey I lost the kid" part II.
The sequel took place at the pediatrician's office. We had taken Woody to be seen by the "after hours" doctor to get a prescription for antibiotics. The office is on the first floor a of a three story medical office building. Also on the first floor, just outside the pediatrician's office (but still inside the building) was a small pharmacy where patients could easily get prescriptions filled. When we first entered the building I noticed that one of the elevators kept opening and closing at will even though no one was riding it or waiting for it. After seeing the doctor I took both kids out to the pharmacy area to get Woody's medicine. He was very sick and just content to sit in one of the chairs while I spoke to the pharmicist. Buzz, who I don't think was even 2 yet , had other ideas. There was no one around, so it was relatively easy to keep my eye on him as he ran around. It was at this point where (you know the old cliche, I only turned my head for a minute?) I turned my head for a minute to write a check (remember writing checks?) for the medicine and I didn't hear him. Then? I didn't see him. I asked Woody where he was and he had his head down almost asleep, so he didn't know either. Panic? Hell yes. It was such a small area, where could he have gone? I grabbed Woody and we ran outside the building screaming Buzz's name. Woody, picked up on my panic and desperation and started crying as we ran around the perimeter of the building. I came back inside, looked around some more, thinking maybe he went back in the pediatrician's waiting area where there was a toddler slide, but no, he wasn't there either. I went back out by the elevators and just then the pharmicist came out of the elevator, with Buzz. Deep sigh. He had gotten on the (previously mentioned) faulty elevator and without pushing any buttons it had taken him up to the second floor, where, he got off. But did he panic? NO! The pharmicist said that he was just sitting there on his knees, waiting for me. After pledging my undying love and gratitude to the pharmicist I took both kids to the car, strapped them in and did what anyone in that situtation would do... had a complete meltdown. We were all crying... right there in the parking lot. I felt so raw.
Epilogue: I asked both kids last night if they remember either of these situations and guess what? Neither one remembers! So, I guess I haven't traumatized them for life... but there is still time....
Tuesday, May 02, 2006
Today's score: Child 1, Mom 0
So, the other day I am blissfully minding my own business in my room when I hear the door to the garage slam open and Buzz's high pitched, overly charged voice screeching something like "this always happens to meeeeeeee-eee-eee." Followed by a continuous siren like wail of a frustrated (but tearless) crying that went something like "nwaaaaaaa nwwwaaaa nyaaaaaa nywaaaaa..." (did I mention loud and attention getting?) as he marched through the living room toward the kitchen. My trained instincts and acute hearing instantly told me this was one of those "I'm-screaming-loudly-because-my-bigger-older-brother-who-always-wins-and-dominates-every-activity-we-ever-do-together-has-beaten-me-again-and-I'm-frustrated-and-want-Mommy-to-come-in-and-rescue-me-and-get-my-mean-brother-in -trouble-for-being-mean-to-me-AGAIN" cries that I have come to recognize at the drop of a hat.
Now, first of all? I was the oldest child in my family, so let's just say that I hated this growing up and my mom would always fall for it and I would always get in trouble just because I was older. Ugh! So, for my youngest, this loud crying thing, is a crap shoot. Either I feel sorry for him because his brother is using his "I'm three years older and much superior" attitude solely for the pure enjoyment of watching his little brother go into frustrated hysterics (okay, I was maybe guilty of this behavior once or twice growing up, but never, ever repeat this to my brother!), or I go the other way and get the younger one for being whiny and manipulative and for doing what my little brother did to me growing up.
So, being the dutiful mom I go to find the source of the "loud wail" only to run into Buzz on his way back from the kitchen carrying a (as in a single) paper towel as he is heading back into the garage. Also coming to investigate the noise was Woody, who, as it turns out was in a completely different room when the "wailing" commenced. So much for my mother's intuition (note to self: get that intuition thing checked on will ya?). Curious now, I follow him into the garage to find out what was going on. He continues to wail and berate himself, "I always do this... this always happens...mmmmnnyyaaaa mmmnyaaaa..." as he heads to the side of the garage where the t.v is and goes over to the little table and bends down and takes his paper towel and attempts to clean up the can of Pepsi that he spilled. The full can of Pepsi. Well, the once full can. Anyway, feeling bad for him I pick up the can, which he left still spilling when he went to get the paper towel and I talked him down from his hysterics in my most re-assuring voice telling him that it is okay and that I will help him clean it up but we would probably need a real towel, blah blah blah, until the mess was cleaned up and all was calm.
But, later? I was thinking how clever he was by innitiating the hysterics himself instead of waiting for the hysterics to come from me. If he would have come and told me he spilled, I most likely woud have gone postal on him because a) he is not supposed to drink in the garage b) he did not ask if he could have a soda and c) the ants love that shit and I don't want another ant invasion on my hands! But instead? He got hugs and kisses from mommy, she cleaned it up herself and he got another soda to replace the one he spilled!
What am I teaching this kid?
Now, first of all? I was the oldest child in my family, so let's just say that I hated this growing up and my mom would always fall for it and I would always get in trouble just because I was older. Ugh! So, for my youngest, this loud crying thing, is a crap shoot. Either I feel sorry for him because his brother is using his "I'm three years older and much superior" attitude solely for the pure enjoyment of watching his little brother go into frustrated hysterics (okay, I was maybe guilty of this behavior once or twice growing up, but never, ever repeat this to my brother!), or I go the other way and get the younger one for being whiny and manipulative and for doing what my little brother did to me growing up.
So, being the dutiful mom I go to find the source of the "loud wail" only to run into Buzz on his way back from the kitchen carrying a (as in a single) paper towel as he is heading back into the garage. Also coming to investigate the noise was Woody, who, as it turns out was in a completely different room when the "wailing" commenced. So much for my mother's intuition (note to self: get that intuition thing checked on will ya?). Curious now, I follow him into the garage to find out what was going on. He continues to wail and berate himself, "I always do this... this always happens...mmmmnnyyaaaa mmmnyaaaa..." as he heads to the side of the garage where the t.v is and goes over to the little table and bends down and takes his paper towel and attempts to clean up the can of Pepsi that he spilled. The full can of Pepsi. Well, the once full can. Anyway, feeling bad for him I pick up the can, which he left still spilling when he went to get the paper towel and I talked him down from his hysterics in my most re-assuring voice telling him that it is okay and that I will help him clean it up but we would probably need a real towel, blah blah blah, until the mess was cleaned up and all was calm.
But, later? I was thinking how clever he was by innitiating the hysterics himself instead of waiting for the hysterics to come from me. If he would have come and told me he spilled, I most likely woud have gone postal on him because a) he is not supposed to drink in the garage b) he did not ask if he could have a soda and c) the ants love that shit and I don't want another ant invasion on my hands! But instead? He got hugs and kisses from mommy, she cleaned it up herself and he got another soda to replace the one he spilled!
What am I teaching this kid?
Monday, May 01, 2006
A Jam Packed Weekend
That started with laundry... Lots of it. It never ended. I was still folding socks this morning. But, it got done. I washed and dryed furiously all day Saturday in between grocery shopping and picking up our race packets for Pat's Run (more about this later) and before Woody's 4:30 soccer game, which I yanked him from the post-game talk so I could get home to get ready for my big "GIRLS Night Out."
Well... it wasn't a wild, drunken affair or anything. But, it was a night out for
me, which I have to admit, I don't get to do very often. So, when last week Super Engineer Gal (my only female co-worker) invited me to see a play on Saturday, I jumped at the chance. A night out without kids? Heck yes I'll be there!! What a treat! The play was called "The Sisters Rosensweig," which was written by the late Wendy Wasserstein (play bill pictured on the right).
I had a good time and really enjoyed the performance. It was about three sisters and took place in the oldest sister's London flat during a weekend in 1991. The dialogue was humorous and witty and the whole thing just seemed to fly by. Before I knew it I was in my car on my way home. Sigh. Girls night was over.
We got up early the next morning to participate in the First annual (San Jose) Pat's Run that benefits the Pat Tillman Foundation. It started last year in Tempe, Arizona and this year they held it in Tempe(4-15-06) and San Jose (4-30-06), which is where Pat grew up and went to high school. It was a 4.2 mile run/walk around his old neighborhood and ended on the Leland High School Football Field (now appropriately named "Pat Tillman Stadium"). They also had a kids .42 mile run. Everything was "42" because that was the number he wore in high school and in college. He wore number 40 when he played for the Arizona Cardinals. (sidenote: there was a soldier who ran the race in full fatigues, boots and a 42 pound pack, now that? Was impressive)
Woody and I both did the run and Buzz did the kids' run. Hubby came too, he didn't run or walk but hung out with Buzz and got him checked in while Woody and I did our run. Woody finished the race about 2 minutes before I did and I was really proud of him (both of us). It was his first "race" and the longest distance he has ever run at one time before. I was exhausted from being up late the night before, so I think I could have had a better run and not have had to stop just before the 2 mile mark. But I did, which was fine. I walked for about 5 minutes and then was able to run the rest of the way after that. Woody said he had to stop at one point also because he twisted his ankle a bit where the trail/path wasn't even. No matter, we both finished. Here are some pics:
Well... it wasn't a wild, drunken affair or anything. But, it was a night out for
me, which I have to admit, I don't get to do very often. So, when last week Super Engineer Gal (my only female co-worker) invited me to see a play on Saturday, I jumped at the chance. A night out without kids? Heck yes I'll be there!! What a treat! The play was called "The Sisters Rosensweig," which was written by the late Wendy Wasserstein (play bill pictured on the right).I had a good time and really enjoyed the performance. It was about three sisters and took place in the oldest sister's London flat during a weekend in 1991. The dialogue was humorous and witty and the whole thing just seemed to fly by. Before I knew it I was in my car on my way home. Sigh. Girls night was over.
We got up early the next morning to participate in the First annual (San Jose) Pat's Run that benefits the Pat Tillman Foundation. It started last year in Tempe, Arizona and this year they held it in Tempe(4-15-06) and San Jose (4-30-06), which is where Pat grew up and went to high school. It was a 4.2 mile run/walk around his old neighborhood and ended on the Leland High School Football Field (now appropriately named "Pat Tillman Stadium"). They also had a kids .42 mile run. Everything was "42" because that was the number he wore in high school and in college. He wore number 40 when he played for the Arizona Cardinals. (sidenote: there was a soldier who ran the race in full fatigues, boots and a 42 pound pack, now that? Was impressive)
Woody and I both did the run and Buzz did the kids' run. Hubby came too, he didn't run or walk but hung out with Buzz and got him checked in while Woody and I did our run. Woody finished the race about 2 minutes before I did and I was really proud of him (both of us). It was his first "race" and the longest distance he has ever run at one time before. I was exhausted from being up late the night before, so I think I could have had a better run and not have had to stop just before the 2 mile mark. But I did, which was fine. I walked for about 5 minutes and then was able to run the rest of the way after that. Woody said he had to stop at one point also because he twisted his ankle a bit where the trail/path wasn't even. No matter, we both finished. Here are some pics:
Here is a picture of us by the finish line... And then a close up of the finish line. Oh, and Buzz did great in his race! I started shadowing him (ran behind the kids with some of the parents) but half way through he was going to fast for me, so I just cut over to the finish line to wait for him there! Oh, and SJ Sharky was there too. He seems to always have time to take a bite out of one of my kids wherever we go. And we seem to be running in to him a lot this year!
After the race I treated everyone to Jamba Juice and then we went home. Everyone (except Buzz) fell asleep at scattered locations throughout the house. I fell asleep in the playroom where Buzz indulgently played uninterrupted sessions on his Game Cube. He kept waking me up to watch his replays. I should have gone somewhere else, but I knew everyone was going to end up taking a nap so I went in there with him so he wouldn't be by himself. Apparently the dog was trying to get my attention too, when I woke up he had all his doggy toys (brought from the other room) on the floor next to the couch where I was sleeping. We took him for a long walk later in the afternoon. I spent the rest of the evening folding and putting away laundry. Except for the socks. I always put those off until last (and not because they are my favorite).
What an unbelievably beautiful day! I'm almost forgetting about those weeks and weeks of continual rain. Almost...
Friday, April 28, 2006
Most Quotable Friday
I have tons of great quotes stored away... Here are a few to ease us in to the weekend. Happy Friday!
"Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great."--Mark Twain
"Character consists of what you do on the third and fourth tries."--James Michener
"If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day, so I never have to live without you."--Winnie the Pooh
"The true measure of a man
is how he treats someone
who can do him absolutely
no good."
- Samuel Johnson
"Once a woman has forgiven
a man, she must not reheat
his sins for breakfast."
- Marlene Dietrich
"Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great."--Mark Twain
"Character consists of what you do on the third and fourth tries."--James Michener
"If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day, so I never have to live without you."--Winnie the Pooh
"The true measure of a man
is how he treats someone
who can do him absolutely
no good."
- Samuel Johnson
"Once a woman has forgiven
a man, she must not reheat
his sins for breakfast."
- Marlene Dietrich
Thursday, April 27, 2006
Sleeping Breach
I think my sleep threshold has been breached. Forgive me if I go off on some weird tangent, my mind just isn't working through stuff correctly. I used to go with 4-6 hours of sleep and be fine. When the kids were babies, please, I was a warrior. Now? Eight hours required or I am a complete mess. The last two nights I have only slept for 6 hours (each night). I know, doesn't seem that bad, I mean don't be a wuss, 6 hours? Please, that is plenty of time. Some would even be envious to get 6 hours of sleep, right? New parents? Not feeling sorry for me.
So, the effects? My head is in a complete fog. I am forgetting things. Yesterday? I left the coffee pot on. Not good. I turned if off this morning. I think. I feel like I'm sort of floating through my day, and not in a good way. Like I'm floating but know at any moment gravity is going to flip me over and voices are going to startle me into remembering all the things I'm forgetting. Weird right? So, I'm going through all these mental checklists, for sanity reasons. I am afraid to do any work because I don't want to fix all the mistakes next week that I'm probably making now. And? I'm fantasizing about curling up under my desk and taking a nap. I could totally get away with it. Unless someone came around my desk looking for me or to leave me a note... Way to much potential for disaster, which I guess is why it will forever remain a fantasy.
I'm also trying to not stress about the work piling up at home. Ugh. Woke up the kids this morning and their laundry pile looks like, well? I don't know, I can't think of a clever analogy right now, wonder why? The floor needs to be swept and mopped, completely ignored that too. My laundry pile? Almost as bad as the kids. And I think, (I can't really remember-it is enough that I turned off the coffee pot ) that I already emptied the laundry baskets in the garage earlier in the week, which means minimum 6 loads staring at me right now. But I will choose to ignore that in the ongoing effort to not stress myself out. Stress + Tired = Bad Bad news. Thank God I am not PMS-ing right now. Someone would have to tie me down.
Where was I? NOT making sense I believe. I think I accomplished that. I need to go take a walk...
So, the effects? My head is in a complete fog. I am forgetting things. Yesterday? I left the coffee pot on. Not good. I turned if off this morning. I think. I feel like I'm sort of floating through my day, and not in a good way. Like I'm floating but know at any moment gravity is going to flip me over and voices are going to startle me into remembering all the things I'm forgetting. Weird right? So, I'm going through all these mental checklists, for sanity reasons. I am afraid to do any work because I don't want to fix all the mistakes next week that I'm probably making now. And? I'm fantasizing about curling up under my desk and taking a nap. I could totally get away with it. Unless someone came around my desk looking for me or to leave me a note... Way to much potential for disaster, which I guess is why it will forever remain a fantasy.
I'm also trying to not stress about the work piling up at home. Ugh. Woke up the kids this morning and their laundry pile looks like, well? I don't know, I can't think of a clever analogy right now, wonder why? The floor needs to be swept and mopped, completely ignored that too. My laundry pile? Almost as bad as the kids. And I think, (I can't really remember-it is enough that I turned off the coffee pot ) that I already emptied the laundry baskets in the garage earlier in the week, which means minimum 6 loads staring at me right now. But I will choose to ignore that in the ongoing effort to not stress myself out. Stress + Tired = Bad Bad news. Thank God I am not PMS-ing right now. Someone would have to tie me down.
Where was I? NOT making sense I believe. I think I accomplished that. I need to go take a walk...
Wednesday, April 26, 2006
Money Well Spent
The kids and I made it to the Sharks' game last night! After a frustrating ticket buying experience last week it looked as if we wouldn't be able to get a third ticket and thus not be able to attend the game. Ah, but the ticket gods were a smiling on us as things fell together nicely yesterday afternoon. All morning I lurked around Craigslist, constantly refreshing the ticket section, on my quest. I was determined to get myself and both boys to a playoff game. I replied to listings, I called and left messages on the ones that left phone numbers all with the same result... "I'm sorry, I just sold them to someone else." Or, "I'm sorry, someone offered me more money." Uggghhhh!!! And then, finally, some wonderful soul sent me an email with the sweetest words, "Well, the other woman (who sent a reply e-mail 5 minutes before I did) still hasn't responded, so I will go ahead and sell them to you." Hallelujah! These tickets were perfect because they were 1 section over from the tickets we already had and I could bring Woody's friend with us. The hardest part was having to wait almost two hours for the kids to get out of school before I could tell them!! Let me tell you they were screaming with joy. That moment was worth all the effort right there.
Then? It just got better. We hooked up with one of Woody's soccer coaches at practice earlier in the evening, who had a parking pass (for being a season ticket holder) and asked if we could carpool to the game and he said "yes!" So, free parking! Then the game? Amazing! 4-1! It was so loud and so awesome. It is fun to scream like a maniac in my own living room, but it is something altogether different when you can scream with 17,000 + like minded people. We did manage to go visit hubby in the club, but he was to busy to be able to have much of a visit. I bought the three boys each a "Cheechoo train" whistle, much to the delight of all the people sitting around us! Speaking of people sitting around us. We had both ends of the spectrum. On my right was a gentleman who midway through the game admitted to me that it was his first hockey game. Ever. Well he sure picked a good one to be his first! Then, to my left (sitting next to Buzz ) was young guy (mid-twenties?) who was obviously a die-hard fan, which he proved mid-way through the third period when he showed us the sharks logo tattoo he had on his ankle! Um, yeah. Don't get any ideas Buzz! Meanwhile, one section over, Woody and his friend were having a blast and I imagine feeling very grown up and independent sitting by themselves. So? In all, a successful evening.
The Breakdown:
4 Round 1 Stanley Cup Playoff tickets - $164.
3 "Cheechoo Train" whistles - $15.
Concessions - $20.
Walking outside after the game with three of the happiest kids in the world - Priceless.
Monday, April 24, 2006
Spring Break Highlights
Spring Break is over, kids are back in school and I'm back at work. Some highlights from the week include:
Monday 4/17 - went to the Sharks last regular season home game. They lost miserably. I felt bad for the kids and my son's friend, but they are in the playoffs and that is all that counts!!
Tuesday 4/18 - Got up ridiculously early to get to HP Pavillion and get in line for playoff tickets. Woody, Woody's friend and I each got a wrist band. They would give them to kids if they showed that they had cash to purchase tickets. At 9:30 or so they gathered the crowd and asked Buzz to draw a number out of a paper bag for where the line would start. He picked 1239. We had #'s 1267, 1271 & 1278. So, I thought we were in great shape! Woody's number was the only one that was able to make it to the ticket counter before they sold out. He was only able to buy two tickets.
Wednesday 4/19 - The kids worked on homework projects. Woody had to write a book and Buzz had to make a dinosaur out of recycled items. I cleaned the garage and made sure they were working
Thursday 4/20 - Worked more on homework projects, went out to get Woody's hair cut and on the way home the car broke down. The engine just turned off like I was out of gas. We walked the rest of the way home...
Friday 4/21 - Hubby's friend came by and was able to fix the car. It was a fuse. A tiny fuse, the size if my thumb nail ( and not much thicker). This little thing controls the gas gage, fuel pump and who knows what else... Watched the Sharks lose game one of the Stanley cup playoffs.
Saturday 4/22 - Buzz finally had a soccer game!! Their team won and he scored 3 goals. Woody also had a game, they did very well and won their game too!
Sunday 4/23 - Watched the Sharks win game 2 to tie up the series at 1 game each. Next game Tuesday night at HP Pavillion. Still trying to get another ticket...
Monday 4/17 - went to the Sharks last regular season home game. They lost miserably. I felt bad for the kids and my son's friend, but they are in the playoffs and that is all that counts!!
Tuesday 4/18 - Got up ridiculously early to get to HP Pavillion and get in line for playoff tickets. Woody, Woody's friend and I each got a wrist band. They would give them to kids if they showed that they had cash to purchase tickets. At 9:30 or so they gathered the crowd and asked Buzz to draw a number out of a paper bag for where the line would start. He picked 1239. We had #'s 1267, 1271 & 1278. So, I thought we were in great shape! Woody's number was the only one that was able to make it to the ticket counter before they sold out. He was only able to buy two tickets.
Wednesday 4/19 - The kids worked on homework projects. Woody had to write a book and Buzz had to make a dinosaur out of recycled items. I cleaned the garage and made sure they were working
Thursday 4/20 - Worked more on homework projects, went out to get Woody's hair cut and on the way home the car broke down. The engine just turned off like I was out of gas. We walked the rest of the way home...
Friday 4/21 - Hubby's friend came by and was able to fix the car. It was a fuse. A tiny fuse, the size if my thumb nail ( and not much thicker). This little thing controls the gas gage, fuel pump and who knows what else... Watched the Sharks lose game one of the Stanley cup playoffs.
Saturday 4/22 - Buzz finally had a soccer game!! Their team won and he scored 3 goals. Woody also had a game, they did very well and won their game too!
Sunday 4/23 - Watched the Sharks win game 2 to tie up the series at 1 game each. Next game Tuesday night at HP Pavillion. Still trying to get another ticket...
Friday, April 14, 2006
Mommy's a Hotty?
This lovely note is from my youngest son, Buzz. When I first saw it I thought it said "Your Hoty" And I thought, "wow my son thinks I'm a hotty!" Then I started thinking, "um, how does he know that word? and um, should he be thinking of his mother as a hotty? Should he, at the age of 7, be thinking of anyone as a hotty?" But, then almost as quickly my parental moral questioning superceded my inflated ego, I realized my son didn't think I was a hotty at all. He was telling me that I am 40 (40TY, not HOTY). Much to my chagrin, because I am not 40 for 3 more months! But, this is the little game that he plays with me. He has been telling me that I was 40 since I turned 39. Sigh. Well, I guess I am only a "hotty" in my own mind (the way it should be) and besides, 40 is the new 30 right? Happy Friday!
Thursday, April 13, 2006
Sharks Clinch!
Yes, there were some wild screams coming from my house last night as we (the slightly obsessed family) watched our Sharks clinch a playoff spot by beating the Vancouver Canucks 5-4 in overtime! What a great game. We have been watching these guys fight back all season as they dug themselves a huge hole early in the season when they lost 10 games in a row while other teams were earning points left and right. Of course hubby is excited because this means extra games for him to work at and those playoff crowds spend big bucks!! (Hubby bartends in the "club" at HP Pavillion for all home games) The kids, one of their friends and I have tickets for the last regular season game on Monday night versus Los Angeles. I just found out that playoff tickets go on sale the next morning at 10 am. The kids have spring break next week and I have the week off to spend with them so it looks like we will be down there at the ticket office bright and early Tuesdsay morning to try and get tickets!!! Wish us luck! I know a lot of people will be trying to be getting tickets, the announcement said they are going to be issuing numbered wristbands, so we have to be very fortunate to even get the opportunity to buy tickets.
In other news it is still raining. There seems to be a little break today, but all the forcasts say another storm is due to hit tonight and tomorrow. Which means that the soccer games are questionable for this weekend. Woody is supposed to have a game in San Francisco at the polo fields in Golden Gate Park and Buzz is still waiting to have his first game at one of the local fields. Both have practice tonight and the Sharks play again tonight (at home) which means I have to pick up both boys from practice. Guess we're eating out tonight!
Wednesday, April 12, 2006
Making the mp3 leap
I finally made the huge technological leap into the world of mp3 players. I have to admit now that I'm here I can't think of a plausible reason why I didn't do it sooner. Oh, I know. The money. And, also I guess I'm (she admits reluctantly) a bit like my father who absolutely refuses to give in to modern technology. "What do I need it for?" is his reasoning. He is by no means a cheap man or a penny pinching man, but he is practical to a tee. Some of this has rubbed off on me in the way that I am usually way behind in the owning of "new toys." I held out forever in getting a cell phone. #91 had one before I did, and that was after three (long) years of his begging and him finally going behind our backs to his bio-mom (fodder for another blog and another time...). Why did he need one? Just because it was the in thing (this was 10 years ago). His grades were horrible, he already lacked focus, please explain to me how a cell phone (which weren't allowed at school back in the day) was going to help?
Anyway... I've been really wanting an mp3 player for a while now so that I can listen to music when I run. #91 got an iPod two years ago so I'm right on schedule to get one too, no? Do I really need one? No. We have cd players all over the house. My car plays cd's, the boom box in the garage plays cd's, the streo in the living room, the portable cd player... My new alarm clock even plays cd's, a nice feature if I ever bothered to put one in there... After doing some research I found out what a wide range of choices there are now compared to two years ago. I really didn't want an iPod, it just seemed like a hassle converting files to iTunes, etc. etc. I was comfortable with Windows Media and just preferred to stick with that. I wanted to spend close to $100, get something small that would hold 500 songs and wasn't complicated! I finally went with the SanDisk m250( http://www.sandisk.com/Products/Item(1211)-SDMX3-2048-Sansa_m250_MP3_Player_2GB.aspx ) It is 2GB (capacity to store about 480 songs) and cost $109 at Circuit City. And the best part? It is tiny! The bad part? I have to keep an eye on my kids because I already caught them once treating it like came out of a Happy Meal or something. It actually does look like it came out of a Happy Meal.
So, I'm learning all kinds of new things like forming a partnership between my computer and my SanDisk, creating sync lists and synchronizing files. Oh, and it sounds pretty good too! Rock on.
Anyway... I've been really wanting an mp3 player for a while now so that I can listen to music when I run. #91 got an iPod two years ago so I'm right on schedule to get one too, no? Do I really need one? No. We have cd players all over the house. My car plays cd's, the boom box in the garage plays cd's, the streo in the living room, the portable cd player... My new alarm clock even plays cd's, a nice feature if I ever bothered to put one in there... After doing some research I found out what a wide range of choices there are now compared to two years ago. I really didn't want an iPod, it just seemed like a hassle converting files to iTunes, etc. etc. I was comfortable with Windows Media and just preferred to stick with that. I wanted to spend close to $100, get something small that would hold 500 songs and wasn't complicated! I finally went with the SanDisk m250( http://www.sandisk.com/Products/Item(1211)-SDMX3-2048-Sansa_m250_MP3_Player_2GB.aspx ) It is 2GB (capacity to store about 480 songs) and cost $109 at Circuit City. And the best part? It is tiny! The bad part? I have to keep an eye on my kids because I already caught them once treating it like came out of a Happy Meal or something. It actually does look like it came out of a Happy Meal.
So, I'm learning all kinds of new things like forming a partnership between my computer and my SanDisk, creating sync lists and synchronizing files. Oh, and it sounds pretty good too! Rock on.
Thursday, April 06, 2006
Oh, One of those days
Okay, so today is Thursday, April 7th 2006, right?
This morning when I went through my son's WPRF (work-progress-report-folder?) whatever, the packet thingy with his work from last week and progress report from his teacher that I sign and send back with him? Anyway, in it was a flyer about the upcoming Open House on Thursday April 7th and that this year they are also having a BBQ, blah blah blah, please pre-order food for your family if you will be eating, blah blah blah. Now, around here and as long as any of my kids have been in school, even in different districts, Open House is always on a Thursday night. Without fail, always. So of course with my pre-morning coffee brain churning away, I thought "oh great, Open House is tonight and I'm just finding out now?" Ugh, both kids have soccer practice (at two seperate fields) 45 minutes away from their school at the same time as the open house, what am I going to do? They have been rained out for two strait weeks and I can't possibly call their coaches and tell them they can't make it to practice... So, I wake up the kids and I'm ask them why they didn't tell me that they had an open house at school tonight. They both stared at me blankly and said in unison "I didn't know we had open house tonight." To which I tell them that the paper says you have Open House April 7th, and today is April 7th. "Oh." They both reply.
So, fast forward two hours. I'm at work and I plug my phone in to charge the battery and noticed that I had 2 missed calls at 8:30 (must have been driving and didn't hear it, damn radio) from someone with blocked ID, but no message. I didn't think much of it, because, well, leave a message dammit I'm not psychic! But all morning I kept thinking today was the 7th. I entered journal entries as 4/7, I filled out a deposit slip dated April 7th, I even wrote checks dated, well you get the idea, April 7th. Regarding the Open House situation, I finally decided that I would convince hubby to somehow pick up both kids from soccer, and close his office (located 30 minutes farther north than the practice fields) and give his nephew (who works for him) a ride home, because I had to attend Open House. That would be the plan, that and explain to him why I'm just telling him this today and why didn't I know sooner. All of which are good questions, why didn't I know sooner? Am I really that bad at going through the kids school work and news letters? God, I suck. I was not looking forward to that phone conversation. So, I'm sitting at my desk just dreading the whole rest of my day and cursing everything and everyone (while blissfully ignorant that I was shooting out erroneous April 7ths everywhere) when my cell phone rings it's "blocked id" ringtone. I almost didn't want to answer it in fear that whoever was calling might get an earful of my pent up frustration. I answered the phone and it was Woody . Our conversation went something like this:
me: "hello?:
him: "mommy?"
me: "yea..." (thinking of all the wild, crazy conclusions you jump to when one of your kids calls you from school)
him: "mommy?"
me: "yes!"
him: "um, Open House isn't tonight, it's on April 27th."
me: silence
him: "mommy?
me: "yea, I'm here. Um, well that makes more sense then doesn't it?"
him: "yea, well I just wanted to let you know."
me: "um, did you call this morning?"
him: "yea, I tried to call you but you didn't answer."
me: (my heart swelling with love for his thoughtfulness) "well, thanks for calling me. I love you."
him: "okay (obviously in front of some other kids who would tease him mercifully for saying 'i love you' back) um, bye."
I immediately looked at the calendar, and sure enough, today is Thursday, April 6th.
This morning when I went through my son's WPRF (work-progress-report-folder?) whatever, the packet thingy with his work from last week and progress report from his teacher that I sign and send back with him? Anyway, in it was a flyer about the upcoming Open House on Thursday April 7th and that this year they are also having a BBQ, blah blah blah, please pre-order food for your family if you will be eating, blah blah blah. Now, around here and as long as any of my kids have been in school, even in different districts, Open House is always on a Thursday night. Without fail, always. So of course with my pre-morning coffee brain churning away, I thought "oh great, Open House is tonight and I'm just finding out now?" Ugh, both kids have soccer practice (at two seperate fields) 45 minutes away from their school at the same time as the open house, what am I going to do? They have been rained out for two strait weeks and I can't possibly call their coaches and tell them they can't make it to practice... So, I wake up the kids and I'm ask them why they didn't tell me that they had an open house at school tonight. They both stared at me blankly and said in unison "I didn't know we had open house tonight." To which I tell them that the paper says you have Open House April 7th, and today is April 7th. "Oh." They both reply.
So, fast forward two hours. I'm at work and I plug my phone in to charge the battery and noticed that I had 2 missed calls at 8:30 (must have been driving and didn't hear it, damn radio) from someone with blocked ID, but no message. I didn't think much of it, because, well, leave a message dammit I'm not psychic! But all morning I kept thinking today was the 7th. I entered journal entries as 4/7, I filled out a deposit slip dated April 7th, I even wrote checks dated, well you get the idea, April 7th. Regarding the Open House situation, I finally decided that I would convince hubby to somehow pick up both kids from soccer, and close his office (located 30 minutes farther north than the practice fields) and give his nephew (who works for him) a ride home, because I had to attend Open House. That would be the plan, that and explain to him why I'm just telling him this today and why didn't I know sooner. All of which are good questions, why didn't I know sooner? Am I really that bad at going through the kids school work and news letters? God, I suck. I was not looking forward to that phone conversation. So, I'm sitting at my desk just dreading the whole rest of my day and cursing everything and everyone (while blissfully ignorant that I was shooting out erroneous April 7ths everywhere) when my cell phone rings it's "blocked id" ringtone. I almost didn't want to answer it in fear that whoever was calling might get an earful of my pent up frustration. I answered the phone and it was Woody . Our conversation went something like this:
me: "hello?:
him: "mommy?"
me: "yea..." (thinking of all the wild, crazy conclusions you jump to when one of your kids calls you from school)
him: "mommy?"
me: "yes!"
him: "um, Open House isn't tonight, it's on April 27th."
me: silence
him: "mommy?
me: "yea, I'm here. Um, well that makes more sense then doesn't it?"
him: "yea, well I just wanted to let you know."
me: "um, did you call this morning?"
him: "yea, I tried to call you but you didn't answer."
me: (my heart swelling with love for his thoughtfulness) "well, thanks for calling me. I love you."
him: "okay (obviously in front of some other kids who would tease him mercifully for saying 'i love you' back) um, bye."
I immediately looked at the calendar, and sure enough, today is Thursday, April 6th.
Monday, April 03, 2006
Two Blog Posts I Can Relate To
The first comes from "crazy momcat" who wrote an amazing post about lying as an addiction. I
I never thought about the lies and lying as an addiction but I have one of these people in my life too.
http://crazymomcat.blogspot.com/2006/03/her-drug-of-choice.html Read it all. I never knew or read about anyone in this situation and never knew anyone else went through the same crap that I went through. I felt almost liberated, it was weird.
I cried when I read "soul gardener's" post about her mom and the anniversary of her death. Especially the part about her being there, holding her mom's hand when she died. And also about being with the person who gave you life as they passed out of this world.
http://soulgardening.typepad.com/soul_gardening/2006/04/she_was.html
I too, was sitting next to my own mom when she took her last breath. She was at home, Hospice had provided a hospital bed so she could be comfortable at home for her last days. The Hospice ladies had come over to give her a sponge bath. Dad and (mom's sister) Sue were outside talking. My brother was sleeping in the bedroom. I didn't realize when it happened at first, but when they unhooked her oxygen and sat her up to undress her, they both stopped. One of the women grabbed her cell phone and went outside. But, when I looked at mom, I knew. I asked the other woman who had stayed in the room if she had stopped breathing. She didn't say anything, just covered her mouth and nodded. Time froze for a moment as I went to her side, to touch my cheek to hers. When I looked up I saw Dad and Sue standing outside in the driveway.
As I watched them from the window all I could think was that I knew and they didn't. How strange, I thought, they were having a conversation, not knowing. It was like a spell that had to be broken. It was like she picked that very moment. She wanted me to be the one to tell them what she couldn't. I think because I was the first to "get it" that she was dying and that she had accepted it. My dad couldn't (and who could blame him) accept it and kept trying to make her better. This was the toughest thing for her was to see him struggle like that. My brother too, just refused on so many levels to let her go. I don't fault him, we are all so different. In a lot of ways he was closer to her than I was, especially as adults. My thought process was to just get through it and go off somewhere by myself later on down the road and have a melt-down. They probably think I was very cold-hearted through the whole thing, but I watched her watching them and saw so much pain in her eyes for the pain she saw in theirs and I just felt compelled to do something. I urged them to say goodbye, to let her go. Sitting with her, holding her hand was in so many ways "easier" than talking to my father and brother. My aunt was amazing. She had gone through a lot with close family members being ill and dying and made me cry when she asked me how many more times was she going to have to go through this? She was a rock and probably helped my dad more than I could.
I didn't mean to go on so much, I guess just reading that post brought a lot of that back up to the surface.
I never thought about the lies and lying as an addiction but I have one of these people in my life too.
http://crazymomcat.blogspot.com/2006/03/her-drug-of-choice.html Read it all. I never knew or read about anyone in this situation and never knew anyone else went through the same crap that I went through. I felt almost liberated, it was weird.
I cried when I read "soul gardener's" post about her mom and the anniversary of her death. Especially the part about her being there, holding her mom's hand when she died. And also about being with the person who gave you life as they passed out of this world.
http://soulgardening.typepad.com/soul_gardening/2006/04/she_was.html
I too, was sitting next to my own mom when she took her last breath. She was at home, Hospice had provided a hospital bed so she could be comfortable at home for her last days. The Hospice ladies had come over to give her a sponge bath. Dad and (mom's sister) Sue were outside talking. My brother was sleeping in the bedroom. I didn't realize when it happened at first, but when they unhooked her oxygen and sat her up to undress her, they both stopped. One of the women grabbed her cell phone and went outside. But, when I looked at mom, I knew. I asked the other woman who had stayed in the room if she had stopped breathing. She didn't say anything, just covered her mouth and nodded. Time froze for a moment as I went to her side, to touch my cheek to hers. When I looked up I saw Dad and Sue standing outside in the driveway.
As I watched them from the window all I could think was that I knew and they didn't. How strange, I thought, they were having a conversation, not knowing. It was like a spell that had to be broken. It was like she picked that very moment. She wanted me to be the one to tell them what she couldn't. I think because I was the first to "get it" that she was dying and that she had accepted it. My dad couldn't (and who could blame him) accept it and kept trying to make her better. This was the toughest thing for her was to see him struggle like that. My brother too, just refused on so many levels to let her go. I don't fault him, we are all so different. In a lot of ways he was closer to her than I was, especially as adults. My thought process was to just get through it and go off somewhere by myself later on down the road and have a melt-down. They probably think I was very cold-hearted through the whole thing, but I watched her watching them and saw so much pain in her eyes for the pain she saw in theirs and I just felt compelled to do something. I urged them to say goodbye, to let her go. Sitting with her, holding her hand was in so many ways "easier" than talking to my father and brother. My aunt was amazing. She had gone through a lot with close family members being ill and dying and made me cry when she asked me how many more times was she going to have to go through this? She was a rock and probably helped my dad more than I could.
I didn't mean to go on so much, I guess just reading that post brought a lot of that back up to the surface.
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