Friday, March 17, 2006
Some left over "spew"
I'm feeling some angst that I can't put my finger on. Maybe PMS? I don't know. It is just that time of year. There are changes in the air. Part of me welcomes what comes my way, but part of me cringes and hides from it while trying to hold on to what was. It happens every spring, or rather pre-spring which is where we are right now. Time to start thinking about summer, what to do with the kids. New soccer season about to start, just subtle things in the air. It just sucks having to figure out or worry about someone's hidden agenda. That is what the whole "C" thing was about. Now it makes me look at other families differently. I mean okay, yeah there is/was definitely something "different" (ugh, okay weird) about this family, but still I can't figure out why this bothers me so much. I know I felt this way when E left last year but I didn't feel anxiety like they thought they were leaving for something better and that the team wasn't right for their son... I don't know why it is taking so long for me to get over this. Do I see myself in her? I've thought about this before. The opportunistic part, looking for credit and attention vicariously through her son? This move is for status only. Realistically what makes her think that this move is the right one for her son? To play up to that level is a great thing to brag about to your friends, (blah, blah, my son, blah blah, playing up, blah blah, premier league, blah, blah, left a bad situation, blah blah, professional coaching, blah blah, best ranked club in NorCal, blah blah, better opportunity for R, blah blah, wasn't going anywhere with old team, blah, blah, had him playing defense, blah blah, didn't recognize his talent, blah, blah,hurt his feelings, blah blah...)but eventually he is going to have to play in a game, against older, bigger, more experienced kids that are going to eat him alive. I mean if he is too sensitive for some of the mild things that went on last season, how the hell is he going to cope in the next age and skill level bracket? It is just mind boggling. I have a feeling they are going to come crawling back with their tales between their legs. Otherwise they'll go back to a younger team and we'll face him next season. Something must have really pissed her off. I just wish I knew what exactly it was. She said she "anguished" over the discussion but then she gave herself away by saying she assumed RK wouldn't want to speak to her. Why? Because she knows she made a mistake, she knows she went about this in a sneaky and underhanded manner, she knows that this was a passive/agressive "fuck you" moment and she assumed that he would be so pissed off and so "getting" her message that he wouldn't want to talk to her. But, it seems like she overstepped or overestimated her own and her son's importance. Now she is realizing that we can just get on fine without her son (and her for that matter). She also wrongly assumed that RK would "get" her message. He has 12 other kids to think about (and all the other shit in his life right now) why would her son be his priority? It is just kind of funny to me. I feel like a devil's advocate right now, but I really hope they realize their mistake. I really hope their (and by they I mean mom and son, but mostly mom) ego takes a really hard blow and that through their suffering they realize their handling of this situation was way out of line. Whether they admit it or try to make amends is up to them, but I just hope they fall so they can recognize their evilness in all this. But like my wonderful J says, "at least we won't have to see her fat ass on the sidelines anymore..." Amen to that. Ego of the year, that one. Whew.